Apryl in Wonderland

Year of the Bunny!!

2010-12-31T19:30:00.004+09:00

Happy New Year to all!

I have to say that I am having a low-key, not quite, but almost, boring New Year's Eve here in Tokyo! My friend-boy felt he needed to use his days off to "do" some freelance projects he has been putting off, and work on some musical things as well. Certainly he could be "doing" me, but I suppose, I will still be around on Jan. 3rd or 15th, or February...and these other projects have some sort of deadline...(Actually February 3rd is Chinese New Year, so he is NOT getting out of that one! If I have to beg, yell, cry, or drag...I WILL get a New Years date somehow!)

I have managed to clean and organize my closest, throw out an ever-growing collection of magazines, and pare down my English teaching textbooks a bit. In an apartment the size of a shoebox, this helps quite a bit! I've also organized the bathroom linen shelf, washed dishes, and sent holiday greetings to a variety of people.

I have many hours left of 2010 - so I am trying to "clean up" many things before the new year. (Of course, the first day of 2011 is still useful for this...) I'm about to organize my next month's appointments, balance my budget/make a budget, and start "grooming" a previously published article for submission elsewhere.

Also, I am going to spend time looking at flights, hotels in Beijing. Yep, the friend-boy - and I are going to his hometown of Beijing for a few days in March. Partly to meet some Chinese business acquaintances I am working with online. Partly to visit a friend. I asked him to suggest a decent hotel...his suggestion? "I'll call my mom. We can just stay in my home with my parents."

Hm....all articles I have read say that the Chinese mother is rather difficult to impress. I need to start worrying about this now. Or not...

Invitations

2010-12-17T22:08:00.004+09:00

Last night, the friend-boy's band had a show. As the thoughtful girl I am, I sent him a message prior:

"Have a good show! Be careful of flying drumsticks!"

His band has a new drummer, but the previous drummer once threw her drumsticks at him during a show when his PC had a glitch and caused a pause in a song during a show.

He really did not find any humor in that at the time. I'm not so sure he finds it funny now. She did hit him in the head with one...

He responds:

"haha thank you! and maybe not this time. maybe next time you should come."

At this point, I faint! In all the time I have known him, he has NEVER asked me to come see his band live. He even told me once, he hates to invite friends because he just doesn't like playing live that much.

Still, I'm more important than a "friend-friend." I'm a "friend-girl!" And FINALLY he invites me to a live show.

I better not need to "bitch slap" any fangirls or groupies he might have!

Trouble Ahead!

2010-12-15T23:30:00.002+09:00

My day job consists of many tasks, including: conducting telephone-based English conversation practice, managing the receipt and review of corporate student evaluations, reporting student attendance and reading/proofing/correcting/grading student essays. The corporate business English students are all University seniors or salaried employees with prominent firms in Japan.

Students have certain topics to write about based on their course level and unit within the text. Sometimes topics are basic picture description, giving written directions, or writing a short "introduction" role-play. Higher levels write about the changing employment system, issues with working overseas, and gender roles. The gender role essay always provides me hours of amusement. Or bemusement. Or confusion. Sometimes irritation. And...I see trouble ahead with Japanese couples....

Following is an example of an essay on gender roles in Japan I have received. This essay is pretty representative of 90% of the essays I receive from the MALE students! (Their ages are 24-35)

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In Japan, men should work in the offices and women take care of the house. It is okay for women to work when they are single. But when they get married they should think about quitting. It is because they need to keep the houseworks and house for their family. This is because Japanese care about family so women must take care of the house because men have to work long hours and sometimes can only have time at home on weekends.

Also, women are not really suited for working out of the home. They are not strong physically and get sickness when they have to work long hours. It is also to hard for them to work as managers because if they have to tell someone something strongly, they can get mental problems.
**************************

What kind of essay do I get from women? About 90% of the WOMEN say something like this...

**************************
I think it is important for women to have work outside the home. It gives them more life satisfaction with themselves and even their families. I am working hard on my career and want to be successful.

I am not married right now but hope to find my life mate someday. I hope he will support that I want to work. When we have children I hope that after I take a short leave he will support me going back to work and help with the children. Some companies now even offer a child care leave for men so maybe he can take a leave.

I think it is good for parents to be with their children and I hope companies will make changes so people do not have to stay so late at work and both parents have more family time. I hope my husband will help with the houseworks too. It is not fair for only woman to do the work if they both work. Many men can do houseworks and take care of children. I think that the choice of working or staying home should be made by each couple to their own choice and not only by a tradition.

**************************

So, here are some statistics....give or take a few points...

Just going on my students:
90% of the men want traditional roles to stand
90% of the women want newer roles and freedom of choice

"Professionally" obtained, and published statistics in Japan:
45% of women want to be housewives
71% of women become full-time housewives after they have a child

Doing a little math here....
29% of the women maintain their goal of working outside the home
26% of the women feel obligated/forced to give up their goal of working

I can see trouble ahead...will some of these men relent in their hardline traditional approach? Will some women be forced to give up their goals? Will some of these men and women stay single as they can not find a partner who accepts their viewpoint? Will there be brawls in the street between couples?

I was already on my knees...

2010-12-09T22:01:00.005+09:00

I have voice lessons on Mondays...just a little something so should I ever accept an invitation to go "to karaoke," I will not be mortally embarrassed.

I trotted up the stairs to my instructors studio and was about to knock on the door, but dropped my backpack. It plopped on to the floor and a pen and some coins rolled out of the front pocket. I kneeled down to pick them up, and at the moment the studio door opened and Tachibana Keita of j-pop boy song/dance band was standing there...like RIGHT THERE!

And I'm unattractively crawling on the floor for 10yen coins!

What I can say, that even through my rouge tinted embarrassment, is that he needs NO airbrushing or photoshopping. He has skin so smooth and perfect, it is amazing! And he wears nice cologne. And he's tall and lovely. And he's like...24 or 25....I need to cougar down!

First Kiss

2010-12-06T23:06:00.003+09:00

I just got off the telephone with my daughter. As some of you may know, she now spends school terms with her father (in Texas, USA) and summers with me (in beautiful Tokyo). I also go to see her for a short visit during the winter holidays, or shortly after.

This evening, she gave me her big news.....she had her first kiss! This boy she has liked for the past 2 months, kissed her after school!

My baby is growing up! I might as well start knitting, grandmother-hood is approaching....

I asked her if it was gross. 'Cause she used to always say kissing looked gross. She said it wasn't too gross.

Then I told her, "Be Careful! You don't want people seeing you kissing boys at school. They will talk."

She sighed. "Mom, I really thought you'd be cooler about this. Maybe more excited or something?"

I said, "Yes, yes. I'm happy for you!"

What can you really say to a daughter after her first kiss?

Learning Japanese

2010-12-05T23:24:00.005+09:00

I am very lazy! Why do I say this? Because I have lived in Japan for 16 months and my Japanese skills get me only as far as a brief self-introduction and a mental "bowl of words" that I can pull out as needed and combine with gestures, props, and facial expressions to get some point across.

An example - when I need to buy my monthly train commuter pass: I put the old pass on the counter. With my hand swirling over it in a sort of "shopping channel" gesture, I stammer out..."ano...shin...passo...ogikubo/kayabacho...ichi tsuki...kudasai" A new commuter pass is promptly obtained.

Or I go to the au store. Flipping out my cell phone: again, I use a swirly hand gesture over my phone. "uh...keitai...shiharai" They pull up my number, show write down the amount owed, I pay, and mission accomplished.

My friend-boy says "You don't wanted to learn." I feel it is more, "It was not my first priority."
My excuses: the first 7 months living here, I was working long hours at eikaiwa hell/GABA, and had my daughter living here - so free time was spent going to her school her activities, and general mom/daughter/life items.

After she left, my first priority was to find better paying job - which meant hours on interviews, commuting. One of my jobs including a one-way commute of 1 hour, 45 minutes. My days were blown between work and commute time!

Now I have the following to do: full-time job (40 hours per week), private lessons (8 hours per week), my new self run business (8 hours per week). Friends...and friend-boy. Going to the gym. I refuse to give any of it up!

I do welcome ideas on better efficiency, time-management...but as you can see, taking actual sit-down lessons with a teacher - no time! I finish my day job at 7pm, that puts me getting to a lesson around 7:45pm anyway...too late!

I have decided to actually organize my "work" day to allow for study time. Each work day gives me a one hour lunch break, mandatory lunch break!

I want to break up my lunch as follows:

20-30 minutes - Japanese study
15 minutes - update my twitter (business account) and facebook statuses (for family/friend account and business account
15 minutes - an invigorating walk up the stairs to the top of my work building, and back down to ground floor. Get the brain working. Probably should move this to the first activity during lunch!

Here are the sources for my self-study material.

NHK Let's Learn Japanese - This series has two seasons. First season was made in 1984 and has 26 lessons/episodes. Second season was made in 1995 and has 26 lessons also. All the video lessons can be found on VEOH and YouTube. The textbook can be found on a variety of bittorrent places - although, I now have them downloaded, and can send it to you as an email attachment, should you, the gentle reader, want a copy.

Textfugu - This is a site written by Koichi of Tofugu fame. The site has lessons, videos, cheat sheets. Basically, the first few lessons are free for all, then you can convert to paid subscription to continue to higher levels. With my current level, it will be quite a while before I need the paid levels.

The Gates of Hell - Jigokudani Yaen-koen

2010-12-04T13:01:00.005+09:00

This post has nothing to do with Roppongi. Although, with a title such as "The Gates of Hell," it certainly could be!

Actually, Jigokudani Yaen-koen (eng: The Gates of Hell) is a small valley with onsen, near the site of the 1998 Nagano Winter Olympics. It is famous for Snow Monkeys! These small macaque monkeys spend most of the year in the forest, but during winter, about 250 monkeys take over the outdoor onsen. Apparently for warmth, as well as for nearby food supply.

Warnings given prior to visiting include: do not eat near the monkeys, and do not even have food on your person! The monkeys can sniff it out and will attack! Uhm, I'm not sure if I am scared of monkey attack...these guys are not too big. Although, I'd like to avoid a nasty infection.

Another warning, do not make direct eye contact. WTH? Do not make direct eye contact with the monkeys?! Are they the Queen?! It is mentioned, "if a monkey makes eye contact with you, look away quickly."

Regardless of the potential of monkey attack, I hope to go on an excursion to see them on 12/23. (A holiday dontcha know! Emperor's Birthday.) I must scurry over to the bank to make my payment before all the spots are gone...

Upon consideration, the above warnings are also appropriate for the other "Gates of Hell" i.e. Roppongi. Do not carry food on your person or it will be sniffed out. Do not make eye contact with the minions loitering along the street. If you notice one of them has engaged in eye contact with you, look away quickly!

Unfortunately, looking away quickly does not work well in Roppongi. They will follow you anyway. All you can hope to do is quickly find a refuge to duck in to, hide out a moment, and hope their short attention span puts them on anothers trail.

Musical mayhem?!

2010-11-15T22:29:00.005+09:00

On Sundays, I spend several hours in Shibuya. I teach one or two private lessons at the Tokyu Plaza Tully's that day, and then either meet a friend, wander, or shop. Or some combination of all.

Yesterday was a wander/shop day. I bought a few books and then headed for the Starbucks inside the flagship Tsutaya location - ideal for a cup of acceptable coffee and very acceptable people watching.

The interesting happenings of the day:

At the table next to me, three people were chatting. The two guys were American; one slumped down in a gray hoodie, the other tatted up and in his cuffed jeans, short-sleeved shirt with rolled up short sleeves, and mini-pompadour. Yep, a new style rockabilly boy!

Here is the jist of their conversation:

Rockabilly Boy (RB): So, are you from Japan?
(note: Before she answered, I could have told you no; she was dressed far too colorfully, and with brighter makeup...I'm guessing Korean.)
Hot Girl (HG): No, I'm from Seoul. I'm just visiting here.
RB: Wow, your English is really good.
(note: her English IS very good!)
RB: Don't you think so? (pokes Hoodie Boy/HB)
HB: Uh, yeah.
RB: So, your eyelashes are really long. Do they push your sunglasses off cause they're so big?
(note: what the? is he making general conversation or trying to pick her up? 'Cause massive fail on both counts)
HG: Ha, ha. No, I wouldn't wear sunglasses with this style lash on.
RB: Oh! Well, they are pretty. So why are you in Japan?
HG: I'm visiting some friends before I go to Australia.
RB: Why Australia?
HG: I have a job there. I'm going to live there for a while.
RB: Really? Cool. Cool, huh? (nudges HB)
HB: Uh, yeah.
RB: So, you plan to stay in Australia or go back to Korea later?
HG: Hm, stay in Australia for a while, but Korea will always be home. Maybe work part of the year in one place, and part in the other.
RB: That's cool. I wish I had enough money to live in both the US and China, 'cause you know, I love this whole Asia thing.

note: I am so not sure how "this whole Asia thing" gesture, while sitting in a modern Starbucks, in Tokyo, gets him to wanting to live in China?

To make this whole experience even more unique, were the musical selections being played. When I sat down, the new song by Rihanna, "Only Girl," was on. As it finished, then came Ce-Lo Greens "Fuck You." No editing, just straight up "Fuck you" every other line. Next...and here is the clincher...Nat King Cole "Silent Night!"

If I had been an avatar, I would have been ROFLMAO!

On a Japanese current culture point - Sunday was the second day of the Shibu-on Music Festival. One of the streets leading up to Dogenzaka Hill was blocked off for some fantastic modern takes on Taiko drumming, accompanied by break-dancing, and guitar. Good crowd, good music!

A Conversation, Part II

2010-11-09T11:16:00.003+09:00

So, to tie up the varied loose ends of the conversation with the friend-boy…

We meet and went to an izakaya for beer and food.

He apologized for me getting my feelings hurt.

I sulked.

I said that even if him saying “fat, American girl” is some sort of reality, why wouldn’t he just keep his description as “oh, yeah, she’s nice.”

He said he was just giving a short answer to the girl.

I sulked more.

I said the nuance of fat and overweight is very different. Overweight is fact, fat is insult.

He said fat and overweight mean the same.

Then yelled at him in the izakaya; saying he just said that because he wouldn’t want her to think he has any other female of importance, since he spends all his time dreaming of the day she will f**k him.

I almost start crying, but stop in time to avoid meltdown.

Silence from his side of the table, coupled with a shocked look.

Summary of his response: doesn’t think of her as girlfriend, doesn’t have desire to talk to and share important thoughts with her like would with a girlfriend. Does have thoughts and desires to share thoughts with me. Does think we could “be something, make something.” Said just because he did not discuss me with her, he does talk about me with a good friend of his and his mother. Did bring up side point that I had told him before I would lose weight, but have barely done so.

I accepted his apology, views, and point on the weight.

He said this situation was actually good so that it forced us to have a more in-depth conversation.

Acceptable.Situation green.

follow-up note: He then went out of town for a few days. Upon returning, we were talking about a music promotion project. He was saying he doesn't send mp3s of his music, prefers just streaming availability, but as the project is mine and "we're dating" he agreed to release mp3s.

Now for a commercial message...

2010-11-03T23:22:00.003+09:00

First; check out my lovely gadget to the right...

I would tell you what it is, but the originators do it quite well:

"Own Your Beauty is a groundbreaking, year-long movement bringing women together to change the conversation about what beauty means. Our mission: to encourage and remind grown women that it is never too late to learn to love one's self and influence the lives of those around us - our mothers, friends, children, neighbors. We can shift our minds and hearts and change the path we follow in the pursuit of authentic beauty."

As this is something I feel strongly about, I will be making commentary and submissions regularly. On this same topic, take a look at Dove:Campaign for Real Beauty.

Second; I have been cast out from my gym for possible "anti-social" activity. This means...ack! I have a tattoo and some old man became frightened! Damn those shaky old people!

(note: for those readers here from the West...Many Japanese establishments are not tattoo friendly!! They are associated with gangs/yakuza. Public pools and many water parks will not allow you on the premises with a tattoo. Most onsen and sento (public bathes) won't allow you to use their facilities. I'm not saying that all the people in the train faint at the glimpse of the ankle tattoo, but I have had people move away. Or give me a stern look. Not always. More people under the age of 35 are getting tattoos...plus, as a foreigner, I get some "forgiveness"...cause ya know, I'm not Japanese, so I don't know any better!)

So...I sort of told a fib. I told them "Oh! It is just temporary. I'm so very sorry! It will have faded in a week."

I had to do a walk of shame and turn in my membership card. I go back in a couple days to ask forgiveness again and show them that my temporary tattoo is gone. (This means, I use some thick concealer and hide the very permanent tattoo. And henceforth wear knee high socks and long frickin' workout pants!)

A Conversation, Part I

2010-10-30T22:10:00.004+09:00

So...the friend-boy and I had an in-depth discussion this past Tuesday. Not really my original intention. I was planning on letting things glide for a handful more months; until I had stuffed so much irritation and frustration and sadness down until I would literally explode.

Okay, I'm not really that irritated. I'm just mildly jealous of his possible obsession with the singer in his band, and vaguely confused as to the status of what we are...in the scheme of relationship "being." As for him, about 98% of our face to face interaction is great. He talks a lot. I listen a lot.

The recent sitch was thus: as before mentioned, I put together a stop-motion video for the friend-boys band. We don't need to go in to how their promotional strategy seems non-existent. Live shows are barely promoted. Website messy. Videos fuzzy with poor sound quality. Anyway...FB had seen my original rough draft, and did not like it. I had some additional images input and he is opposed to too much "visual" when it's a "music" video.

On a side note, I have had a few email and chat interactions with the bands singer. I had gotten the lyrics from her so I could coordinate additional images. I also am the coordinator of the GoGirls Tokyo branch - an organization which helps female musical people network, coordinate performances, etc. She contacted me about some other performance opportunities. Anyway...she seems pleasant and we do a bit of online conversing.

When the video was completed, I posted it to youtube and on the band members facebook walls. FB made no mention of the video to me. Even though he spent 15 hours with me a day after I posted it to him.

That evening happened to be his band practice. Singer asks FB if he saw the video and if he is friends with me. Apparently something ugly occurred...seems he said something that came across to her as: "Apryl? She is nothing. A Nobody. Just some stupid fat American girl, playing around. She doesn't know what she's doing." As a concerned citizen, she emailed me with this info - sort of a word to the wise; this guy isn't such a good friend!

I did nothing with this info for a couple days. Just fumed about it. WTF? Even if he doesn't have some grand romantic illusion, how about treating a friend with respect? More fuming. Time for a "WTF?" email to be sent.

Hm, immediate reply. Says that wasn't "exactly" what he said and he will email again after work. After work, he emails again. Says he did say I was fat - 'cause its reality. But never said I was stupid or nobody. And just said video was "normal," but didn't say he didn't like it. Then says he wants to come over the next night to see me before he goes out of town. Uh...okay...

We arrange that he will come over for dinner the next night which is Monday. Monday comes - he has been asked to work a late shift and they "really really" need him. Fine. He wants to meet Tuesday night. Sure, meet near the station next to my work. Almost time to meet, he emails to say he's running late...can we meet in Shibuya instead. Fine. I'm getting more irritated by the second. I'm pissed that he has nothing to say about me but an insult, and he's going to be late and change locations for his...his what? Apology? Explanation? What?

Review: b Roppongi Hotel

2010-10-20T20:48:00.005+09:00

Hm...what can I say on this hotel...the bRoppongi...

Pros:

Comfy beds
trendy interior design
modern architectural exterior
pleasant service
easy to locate
close to bars/restaurants/clubs

Cons:

those bars/restaurants/clubs you are close to - IN Roppongi!
Overpriced - cause it's IN Roppongi
You have to walk past rows of loud, forward non-Japanese guys trying to pick up any lady that passes by to get to the hotel

Oh, wait...you have to do that to get ANYWHERE in Roppongi...it's like a m****r-f*****g walk of shame just to get to the corner!

Review: Roppongi Kaguwa

2010-10-19T11:03:00.004+09:00

For those readers who stumble to this blog by way of a search engine when they type in “Japan” or “teach Japan” or “visit Japan” or some numerous other terms…I am going to start tossing in mini-reviews of places I visit that I have found interesting or pleasant – or if they were exceptionally NOT pleasant.

Back in September, I went to a pre-wedding party for Deanne and Maseo, both very nice people, who I previously only knew through their blogs and my comment/email correspondence with them. The party was held in Roppongi – an area of Tokyo known for being infested with, or rather “designed for,” foreigners in Tokyo. (The apartments are bigger – more Western style and crazy expensive. Many Western restaurants have a location there, and many MANY lame nightclubs with ad slogans of “where the celebrities go/See and be seen!” litter the buildings. Really, I see Roppongi, in general, as “Japan-lite” or some sort of zoo…Westerners can go and see “real Japanese” in their “natural habitats” without the dangers of actually going in to the Savannah. Anyway…I digress.)

By the sheer fact that Japan and Tokyo has hundreds of years of history, it goes without saying, that even in Roppongi, there are pockets of interesting Japanese restaurants, clubs, and drinking establishments. One of these interesting places is Roppongi Kaguwa.

The idea of the design of exterior, interior, the show, and food – is to give an impression of Edo-era “red-light” entertainment. Sexy, sensual, but not over-sexed or vulgar. The food is high quality Japanese style, drinks are well balanced. The prices are not excessively high – and when you order a set party type meal plan, you can for only about 1000 yen more, make it “all you can drink.”

The show is a one-hour show – which is composed of about 8 short sketches or scenes. Some scenes are traditional fight or love scenes with performers in kimono. Others are lighthearted “Benny Hill” type skits. And some are sassy burlesque. What is interesting is that out of 30 or so performers; maybe 3 are women, 4 are men, and the rest are “new-half’s” or transvestite/transsexual. And it’s okay to mention that – it is advertised as such! That makes those burlesque routines all the sassier considering that most of those sexy girls…aren’t girls.
Unfortunately photo taking by patrons is not allowed, but they do allow an “after-show” photo of the cast with any special event patrons: birthday, wedding, etc. also, after the show, the performers come visit the audience, and are happy to sit, converse, and have a drink with you – assuming you pay for the drink!

When I went, I enjoyed the group seating, ease of conversing with fellow quests, and the plentiful alcohol. I spent three hours drinking at the pre-wedding party prior to my guest arriving. (His band (?) / the band he’s in (?) – had a live show, so he could not come earlier) He and I proceeded to stay for another performance of the show, and an additional three hours of drinking. This, of course, created in me the need to make some overly effusive claim of undying affection to my date later on…

Highly recommended!

Just What Every Mother Wants to Hear

2010-10-18T21:55:00.003+09:00

And no, I do not mean "I got accepted in to law school!" (Although, with my daughter, I will take "I got accepted in to Dental School!" She likes an excuse to wear latex gloves...do not ask, do not ask!)

This past week-end the friend-boy came over. Upon occasion, he and I watch some educational videos. VERY educational. Language instruction, mayhaps? I like to call them instructional videos, but you can just call them: porn, AV, smut, etc.

It's fun to peruse the categories. What shall we watch today? Amateur? FB: Nah, lighting is never good. Asian? Me: No, no. I don't like the squeaking noises the girls make. Group? FB: We watched that last week. Lesbian: FB: Great!

To my first video selection: FB: She looks too aggressive. No, change.
My second selection: FB: Bad sound quality. Change, please
My third selection: Me: Uh, no. Those outfits are too cheesy.

As you can see, we are connoisseurs - we look long and hard, pun intended, for the best video.

My third selection:

Me: Oh look! It's...
FB: No! Change it! They look too young!
Me: Ee-eh? This is professional porn, these girls are over 18.
FB: Don't care. They are dressed to look young. And they have stuff animal toys in the setting. And themselves look only 19 or 20.
Me: So...they are over 18...
FB: I don't like too young. I don't like if they look any younger than 21. I prefer they look in the middle 20s or something even older is good. So you can change it.
Me: Okay, changed. So, you don't like really young looking girls?
FB: Did not like high school girls when I was high school student. I'm not going to start liking them now.

Wow! As a parent of a pre-teen girl, I can only be extra pleased at such sentiment!

Finished the "draft" of music video

2010-10-14T20:19:00.004+09:00

Recently I have been working on a music video for the friend-boys band. Sort of a stop-motion feel. I used 600 separate photos, and timed it to the music, etc. Gonna give this project a days rest...then work on some refining!

Anyway, my goal is a Lo-Fi style video. Recently, Lo-Fi has been used in terms of music production to describe a specific method to make the music sound of slightly lower quality than the usual standard. This is achieved through degrading the finished audio or using special equipment. Some listeners argue that Lo-Fi is NOT of lower quality, but merely sounds more analog and warmer – much like a vinyl record, rather than the precision of digitally recorded masters and CDs. Lo-Fi is NOT an excuse for the music itself to be of lower quality i.e. bad musicians, horrible vocals.

Regarding Lo-Fi video production, Lo-Fi favors consumer recording devices and a reduced pixel amount than a HD recording. Film and actual video recording may be used rather than a digital image. Very few high-tech effects are used, if at all. Additional imagery is that found naturally occurring, or produced similar to previous years. Some times Lo-Fi productions might be considered “retro” or low tech.

I'd enjoy getting feedback from you!

My articles!

2010-10-02T00:07:00.004+09:00

"A group blog bringing together key thinkers in the realm of online music business."

AND I have two articles published there so far. Am I a "key thinker?" Well, I do think a lot...or am I just daydreaming?

If you have time, please click on my articles and skim them, scan them, digest them, or just use them as background...I'd be delighted with some kindly comments on the musicthinktank site as well!

Gracias!

The Virtual Tour - A way for musicians and other artists to "tour" without actual travel time and expense!

City Tours - How to plan and carry out a multiple venue music tour in your own geographic region.

Time to Get to Work!

2010-09-28T23:35:00.003+09:00

For those who read me, you probably know my daughter was visiting for the summer. She left, and returned to Dallas, on August 23rd.

So, what have I been doing for the past month? I'd like to regal all with my tales of great activities...but truth to tell...I think I have been out most nights - drinking with friends. Some nights, I don't even go home...Could be catching up on drinking, and other things (*wink*), as those are not appropriate activities during my child's visit.

I have many things to post about, and I hope to get these written and posted within the week...but the upcoming, oh so exciting!, topics are:

* my review of Roppongi Kaguwa show
* my opinion of b Roppongi, the hotel
* my experience at the Kansai Music Conference in Osaka, where I was a presentation panel member on the topic of music promotion
* some self-promotion on a couple articles I have had published
* my review of Il Monte Hotel in Osaka
* my review of The Penguin Bar, also in Osaka
* I might have some additional things to say about lovely Asian boys/men
* how hard it is to make a frickin' stop action style music video
* and some other general drabble...

Why are some men so clueless?

2010-08-31T22:39:00.004+09:00

This post has nothing / little to do with Japan specifically...just a comment on men and how...uhm...how to say this politely...cluelessly rude they are?!

We all know that men (straight) men like to meet women. They watch them, they think about them, they fantasize about them, they approach them...

We also know that men, just like women, find a variety of things attractive. Some men like blonds. Some men like brunettes. Some like large breasts. Some like an athletic type body.

When a man tries the ol' pick-up lines, of which there are many - the lines often include some deviation of the girl being pretty, angelic, or the guy just tells her she is hot!

Now, rarely will you hear this:

"Hi, I wanted to get to know you because your height / weight proportionate body is very nice."
" Hey, can I buy you a drink - cause your nicely styled blond hair really turns me on. "

Instead the guy says:
"Hi, I wanted to get to know you because you seem nice and are pretty."
"Hey, can I buy you a drink - you look great tonight."

But, why do the men that find larger women appealing, think these lines work:

"Mmmm, baby. That big ol' thick body turns me on!"
" You know, I really dig fat girls."

Are these men serious? Are they clueless? Are they rude on purpose because they have some sort of big girl / humiliation fetish?

Do they think a larger girl does not want to hear "you are pretty" without the qualifier of "you are a big fat pretty girl."

Look men! If you like a girl - and some part of her appeals to your secret "turn on factor" such as: the blonde hair, the full hips, the tiny breasts, the big nose, the missing limb, whatever the fuck turns you on - the "I think you are pretty / I find you attractive" line works A LOT better without the additional qualifiers!

ps: the next time some one gives me some stupid backhanded compliment / pick up line - I might respond with "Wow! Really, cause I love a man with a short dick! I can't get enough tiny penis! And your super tiny rod is doing it for me right now!"

An Excuse For False Eyelashes!

2010-08-28T13:53:00.004+09:00

In about two weeks, I am going to an acquaintances pre-wedding party. Groovy couple that they are, rather than the traditional bachelor/bachelorhood party of bridal shower, they are hosting a party for friends at Kaguwa Roppongi!

Kaguwa Roppongi is apparently styled after the Edo era "red light" entertainment district - drag shows, acrobatics, great food. I'm always a fan of the drag show - men, who as women, look better in a dress than I do...the general erotic confusion of "hot" guy dressed as woman...and the fantastic makeup and costumes. Really - I want a drag stylist of my own!

So, once again, I must must aside my dislike of the Roppongi area...but for an excuse for myself to wear FAB-ulous false eyelashes - I am sooooo there!

On a Lighter Note...

2010-08-25T18:16:00.003+09:00

I did go see this free show on July 30th. I fought my mid-level aversion to Roppongi and went.

Show was good, music pretty decent, audience energetic.

Some people have posted camcorder recordings of the show on dailymotion and youtube. Check it out, check it outers!

But you don't like sex...

2010-08-25T18:04:00.004+09:00

The previous discussion with Baby Daddy brings up a lovely point he would bring up...because apparently his being unfaithful or rude to me was my fault...because I don't like sex!

Hm....I just don't like it with you!

When you come home and tell me all about how some other woman was coming on to you and how you thought about going with her - I don't want to have sex with you.

When you come home and complain that I did not cook the food you wanted or how you wanted it - I don't want to have sex with you.

When you take private information I told you about my past / childhood / or some random situation, and throw it at me like an insult - I don't want to have sex with you.

When you tell me (if I'm wearing make-up and a cute outfit) that I look like a whore - I don't want to have sex with you.

When you tell me (when I'm not wearing make-up and am wearing jogging pants because I've been scrubbing the freakin toilet and tub YOU use) that I look like an old woman - I don't want to have sex with you.

When you get home from work at 4am, and your idea of inspiring intimacy is not darkened touches and rubbing...but a nudge and the words "get up, I need to use that..." with a point of your finger - I don't want to have sex with you.

When we do have sex, and I sigh / moan or otherwise attempt to join in the fun, you ask why I am acting like a porn slut - I don't want to have sex with you.

When you think you are proving your prowess by rutting away for 20 minutes when I am not enjoying it - I don't want to have sex with you.

And when, after we separate, you threaten me that if I do not continue to have sex with you, you will file for sole custody of our daughter, take her to Mexico, and I will never see her again - I sure as HELL do not want to have sex with you.

I hate him...

2010-08-25T17:29:00.002+09:00

I am so very NOT happy right now.

Last night, I was "required" to speak with the Dark Overlord AKA Baby Daddy. Any interaction with him leaves me a mix of disgusted, angry, and besieged. He is a person who can not just hold a civil conversation with me - but feels he must lecture me, scold me, or otherwise insert his opinions regarding my person, into the mix.

Of course, it began with his complaining that I have not called often enough - my (our) daughter is visiting me currently, and he wanted regular calls.

I don't call regularly because 1) the time difference 2) for the past one week (the one week he received no calls) there has been some sort of glitch with my LD calling code and I was not inspired to delve in to the problem 3) he will give me the same freakin grief no matter how often I call.

Then he tells me how he will "get revenge on Luna" for not calling, when she returns - by leaving her home alone one week-end afternoon while he and the family go to a party. Little does he know she hates those family/friend gatherings. In his community, every gathering is the same: loud salsa/cumbia/nortena music, lots of beer and orange soda, fathers getting drunk, and the bilingual tweens of Spanish speaking only parents spouting off.

It pisses me off that he phrases it as "get revenge on..."

Then he tells me I need to contact Luna's school. School started august 23rd, but Luna will return to school on August 30th. Rather than giving them the simple, no-frills explanation of "Luna is visiting her mother out of town and will start school late," he felt he needed to make up some story of "family beeznis." (Spelling meant to capture his accented English.)

Since he made up this story of family business, they want verification. From ME!

Then he goes on to tell me what a super parent he is because the kids go to school, come home to clean and do homework - and he does not need to do anything at home, because he has the kids trained. And they can't play outside or go to a friends because 1) they have chores to do 2) they don't need to do stupid stuff.

He makes some crap comment "so, Luna is just locked up in your apartment while you work isn't she." That ass....she is locked up in his house when not in school in Texas. No extra curriculars - "they don't need that," no fun extra classes cause hes too tired after work to take them.

Lead in to his telling me that he won't share cost of plane tickets for Luna to visit since I have a "good deal" of not paying child support. Hm....he has had her for 4.5 whole months. And no, I did not pay him child support. How about the 7 years, after we separated, that she was with me full-time and he paid no or little or less than required child support? How about him not calling, not visiting, not keeping his promises to her?

So, he is too tired to take her to a singling lesson - but when she lived with me, I was the sole parent, worked full-time, picked up side jobs to fund her activities, and dealt with picking up the sorrows of his broken words.

I took unmentionable jobs....jobs not fit for "gentle" consumption - to keep us/her in an apartment, with food and clothes, when he could not be bothered to pay his child support.

Esh, then he goes on his tangent about how I'm so "lucky and have the good deal" that she is staying with him now because I can do all my "nasty things" without her. and I can be "the looser" I am without her.

My nasty things? Bwa ha ha! He has said this crap since before we divorced. When we were married, he loved to throw it in my face that when I was younger, I *gasp* tried a variety of illegal substances! And he will not let it die...apparently I'm chomping at the bit to dive in to a mountain of cocaine!

Oh, and right at the tail end of us being married, I was flirting with / exchanging sexy letters with a male friend. Perhaps not my finest move.

My daughters father however, had not been "faithful" to me for any time frame greater than...oh...10 days. And he would always come home and tell me how he had this side girl or how some woman wanted him.

Then after said conversation, I get to hear Luna cry and tell me she hates living with him. He is too strict, too mean, never takes them places or lets them do things - she says. BUT she doesn't want to live in Tokyo. I'm supposed to leave my job and friends here, move back to the US, and then she will live with me.

His interesting end to hos conversation - he wants me to buy 6 shirts and send them back with Luna. He and his friends want "something Japan." He also wants the shirts to be silk and a polo style.

Do you want them "Japan" or do you want them freakin polo shirt style?

The Black Van is So Slimming Too!

2010-08-11T16:51:00.003+09:00

Yesterday I watched a short procession of vehicles zip by while I was in Shinjuku. The tiny parade of three vehicles was made of two black vans, one khaki van – all with large Japanese flags displayed, large kanji characters on the side, and blasting out some sort of patriotic music. I assume it is patriotic, but it is “scary” patriotic music – it sounds like the Wagner pieces Hitler chose for his themed assemblies.

Of course, it is only fitting the music be a bit Hitler-esque. Apparently these are the vans of the extreme right-wing groups found in Japan. In truth, passing these fans makes me feel like the one black person shopping in town when the KKK holds a rally.

Prior to moving to Japan, I had read a tiny blurb about these vans – it pretty much said something like “this right-wing group hates foreigners.” If that is not enough to conjure images of myself being snatched off the streets by masked, angry, Nihon-go, and sold in to the white slave trade, I do not know what is. But it is a minimal threat – I have only seen these vans twice in the one year I have been in Japan.

Later that day, I sat down with a Japanese friend and asked, “So, today I saw these black vans with big flags…” She immediately hung her head. Sighing, she said, “Ah, I know exactly who you mean.” She told me that yes; they are the extreme right wing. But the “extreme right-wing” is not really one group – it is many groups. Yes, some of them dislike foreigners and would prefer all non-Japanese be deported. But other groups actually have foreign members, usually Zainichii Korean; they are just VERY pro-Emperor and would like Japan to go back to having Emperor rule, more nationalistic pride, and for Japan to take back any apologies they might or might not have given for WW II actions. Other right-wing groups are just very anti-Bush style US government, and feel Japan plays too much the part of US puppet government. They want Japan to become more independent and restart maintaining a strong military.Other groups seem to be places where Yakuza can act tough.

Not knowing Japanese, when I see a festooned black van, I have no idea which ideology of the “right-wing” those particular members hold. My friend just said, “I suggest you just stay back from them. You don’t want to ask them for directions.”

2010-07-29T17:51:00.001+09:00

My daughter has arrived in Tokyo for her summer vacation. In truth, I do not know how much “vacation” it is, as she seems to find nothing here amusing!

Perhaps it is her age (just turned 12), or her general personality – but she finds none of the charm in Tokyo that I do. For her, it is too hot, too crowded, too far to walk, too boring, too bright, too expensive, too…too!

I have already received the lecture from her that I should move back to the States. I know she misses her friends in Bellingham WA, as do I, but it is difficult to get across to her that I like this foreign country, I am better employed here, and feel all manner of electronic means are great for staying in contact with friends? On her side, she hates sending emails, IM chats, or even the phone – so if she cannot “see” her friends, she dislikes the effort.

Regardless of her complaining – I think she has had SOME fun. She went to Kidzania Tokyo recently. If you are not familiar with Kidzania, it was a company started in Monterrey Mexico. Basically it is an employment city, built to kid size. Children up to age 15 can enter Kidzania and try working at various kid-sized jobs; dentist, designer, pizza maker, etc. They learn background information about the job, and then get to perform some easy tasks related to the job. They also get PAID in Kidzania money – which they can use in the gift shop before they leave. My daughter tried jobs of: scientist, dentist, fashion designer, ice cream shop worker, and Coca Cola bottler. She said she actually got to make a soda!

We have also eaten at the restaurant she enjoys best here: Saizeriya. Decent, inexpensive Italian style food. You really cannot go wrong with spaghetti and meat sauce. We went to a friend’s home for Korean BBQ – food was great AND they had a small cake for her birthday.

Some nights we go outside and light sparklers. Other nights she treks along with me to a private English lesson. My students seem amazed that she is only 12 as she could pass for Japanese age 15!

This coming weekend, we will go to Tokyo Disneyland and Disney Sea. She seems more excited about the hotel stay with big bathtub and soft bed – than the rides and amusements. Truthfully, I am pretty eager for the big relaxing bath myself!

Future plans for her visit include trips to a Science Museum and Shinagawa Aquarium – she loves penguins. She has also requested shopping for M.A.C cosmetics. Just what all 12 year olds need – expensive make-up! (I grumble because I am willing to pay the money for M.A.C for her…but always feel guilty spending that much money on myself. No, no – Maybelline is fine for me!)

Bakery Items

2010-07-05T21:23:00.004+09:00

One of my friends and I refer to some relationship ingredients in bakery terms. Her live-in boyfriend is her "cake" and her extra curricular boys are "cupcakes." (See, the "open" relationship thing...have your cake and eat it too? Bwa ha ha!)

Sex is "cookies." Get cookies, bake cookies, want the cookies. (You can see how far this could go....tasty cream filling, warm and chewy, want chocolate or lemon?)

For me, I am not in a live-in situation, or even a "steady beau" situation....but I suppose I might consider that I do have a regular bakery I go to for cookies.

I wonder though - would it make since to still visit other bakeries and try the cookies? Maybe I am not a VIP customer at the first bakery? Or maybe the cookies aren't the best? (For the record - the cookies are quite tasty...they are Chinese Fortune Cookies, baby! Crisp and fresh, always with a favorable fortune inside!....I'm just sayin' that there are other bakeries near by...) Or maybe even, by eating other cookies - I will not get addicted to the cookies at the first bakery. Bakeries hate it when you're needy! (And you know the rumor about Chinese food - eat, then an hour later, you are hungry again!)

Of course, the truly odd snack time was when I WAS at another bakery for cookies, but kept emailing the first bakery while shopping.

The end note is - there are a lot of open bakeries here in Japan! When I lived in the USA, I rarely saw such available baked goods!

If you want something done...

2010-07-05T21:02:00.005+09:00

...do it yourself.

The summer vacation is upon us, and my daughter is to visit me here in Tokyo. The problem is...each day is one less day of her summer break, and she is not here yet.

Going back a few steps in this tale - let me state - that on a good day, I merely feel a sense of abject apathy towards the D.O.L (Dark Over Lord AKA Baby-Daddy AKA Ex-husband). On a blissful day, I can almost forget his existence. But on any day in which I must actually interact with him, my capacity to feel hatred and disgust shocks me!

A brief overview of our relationship: girl meets boy, boy is an "undocumented alien" in the USA, girl and boy date, girl falls in love, boy and girl get married, boy informs girl (on wedding night!) he only married her to get a Green Card, girl spends next 2.5 years trying to "make" boy love her, girl then spends next .5 year seething and plotting her exit, girl dumps boy.

There are side tales of boys verbally abusive nature, overly traditional view of how women should behave, his demand for ironed t-shirts, his insistence upon tortillas at E-V-E-R-Y S-I-N-G-L-E meal! But that is not important for now...

My real irritation at this point is with myself. I should have remembered that he procrastinates doing anything that might be convenient for me. I should remember that he seems not to understand how frickin' internet searches work. Or airline reservations. Or that the closer it gets to your desire "leave" date, the more expensive tickets are....

The problem results because I do not have a credit card. I am in Japan - and have not applied for a card here. All my USA accounts are closed. I thought (foolishly) that I could send the DOL the actual cash money for the price of half the ticket - he could have bought ticket on his credit card - and used the money I sent to immediately pay down half the balance.

But...no...

He would not actually buy the ticket until he got the money...okay, fine. But then he got the money. Then, he was too busy to call - apparently not realizing ticket reservation numbers are open 24/7! Then he spent the money on something else. But said will still buy the ticket. After all this jacking around - the desired leave date is approaching (has past!) and the ticket price has gone up by $300.

But even though he is the one procrastinating, guess who he thinks should pay the extra $300? And he wants the money BEFORE he buys the ticket. Which means more time passing and possibly higher price ticket...

Obviously, the solution to this fiasco for future situations is that once I obtain my credit card through my bank here in Tokyo - I buy the entire ticket myself - and then I set the leave/return dates.

Anyway...she should arrive on July 11th. Or that is the leave date he SAID he will arrange. This all remains to be seen.

As for exciting summer plans for my daughter - we will probably spend a 3-day mini-holiday at Tokyo Disney Sea/Land, a lot of Daiso shopping (as she loves that store!), and perhaps one week-end in Seoul Korea (her request for out of town trip).

Every job is prostitution

2010-07-01T23:21:00.006+09:00

In my years, I have worked many jobs...many companies, many fields. Sometimes I would work one full-time job in the day - with a part-time at night, and a spare on the week-end. I have woken early, stayed up late, slept in the cafeteria, and had uniforms stashed in various cabinets.

In my time, I have worked as/in:

Food service: fast food, casual dining, fine dining, server, greeter, bar assistant, trainer, kitchen manager, prep work

Recreation: parks assistant with clean up and activity planning, lifeguard, camp counselor

Retail: beauty supplies, jewelry, clothing, sales, stocking, merchandising

Salon: reception and product sales

Customer Service: call center, customer satisfaction surveys and focus groups, contract negotiation

Banking and Financial Services: consumer banking, teller, retail loans, real estate lending, deposits, private banking, business banking, mortgage collections, investments, mutual fund sales, portfolio advisement, assistant manager, vault inventory

Music: radio DJ, sound engineer (live and studio), artist promotion, music promotion, event planning

Education: private kindergarten, preschool, high school, private lessons, teaching assistant, teacher

Adult: phone sex operator, gentleman's club cocktail waitress, escort appointments, and actual escort

So....maybe it is my overly expansive experience ("I'm a mercenary for experience." Diane Sawyer) - but it irks me to listen to some early 20s whiner girl, who in all likelihood had her university education paid for by mommy and daddy, and has happy happy holidays, whine because "one time, when I worked in a bar, a guy tried to touch me!" or "I walked in on another waitress giving head to a customer." On my friggin' G-d! Grow up!

This coming from the same girls, who proudly proclaim they know how to flirt to get guys in "regular" bars to buy them drinks, or take them for dinner, or pay their nightclub cover.

I have found that every money making job entails some sale of a part of yourself for the pay. Every job requires some kissing of the ass. The problem is - whose ass? and when has it been kissed enough? I appreciate the job where, to put it bluntly, you know what to touch and you know when you have touched it enough to get your money! Sure...your hand is left sticky - but it's nothing a hot shower won't take care of.

Just plain pissed off!

2010-07-01T23:04:00.003+09:00

Generally I am a very laid-back individual. Nothing bothers me. It all rolls like water off a ducks back...things that irritate others, nothing. Things that anger others, nah.

I don't like wasting my time with being stressed, irritated, angry, or even to sit around blabbing about "can you believe he/she it bla bla bla?"

But I admit that once every four months, every single flippin' thing pisses me off!!

This being the time, here are some events that grate on my nerves:

the cat constantly being under my feet.
the AC not being as cold as I want. Is it wrong to want 17 degrees Celsius?
the rainy season - cause I friggin' hate carrying umbrellas
the humidity. cause my greasy ass hair can't make it an hour before it falls flat.
overly late trains. cause then I have to wait on a crowded platform between other sweaty cranky people...
the coworker who is some friggin' gaijin who can't bother learning the Japanese language even though she/he has lived her for over a decade - so she/he speaks super slow English to her/his Japanese coworkers - in this condescending tone - like it's their fault for not knowing English
the same coworker who had no work experience prior to moving here, but talks all big like she/he is some G-D expert on her/his position, when any other woman knows she/he isn't

and recently, and while I try not to complain about the train commute...

these friggin' guys who position their body to take up two peoples spots even though we are all crammed in like sardines and then, even though I am not touching them in their precious personal space bubble, they need to constantly fidget so their body parts are constantly pushing against me...and even as I inch (or centimeter) away, they angle out even more to continue the pushing.

these people will rue the day I know more Japanese...'cause while I am not going to say anything in English...once I know the language, I am going to hiss through my teeth something along the lines of "What in the f**k is your problem?! Back it up before I kendo your ass!"

Me and Cameron Diaz: Like 2 Peas in a Pod!

2010-06-18T23:50:00.006+09:00

In a recent interview, Cameron says "I'm always traveling for [whispers] c--k. You've got to go where it is."

Ah, I know the feeling Cameron! I have taken cabs in the middle of the night, left parties early, not left the party - but frolicked in the bathroom - and answered the doorbell at 4am for that delightful barn animal!

I have moved across town - moved across the state - and even moved to another country...all for the all-natural wake-up alarm!

In the past, I have done many things for c--k...

I have quit listening to music I like because it asked.
I started listening only to its preferred music.
I have been told to stop seeing my friends.
I have been told to quit jobs or take others.
I've changed my style of dressing.
I've ironed...dear G-d - I have ironed t-shirts!

But, now I ask, in the paraphrased words of Miss Jackson, "what has it done for me lately?"

Lest the gentle readers be alarmed - I have not done any of the "quit your own interests" for the sake of c--k recently. I think I have gotten to a point where, yes - I will travel for it, but I won't change for it.

Me - future media superstar

2010-06-17T13:20:00.003+09:00

Here is a short teaser video I made using a song from the friend-boys band. (19 Mirrors - I'd Rather Die)

My eventual goal would be to make a full length video using about 300 images for a sort of stop-action look.

Eh, it was something to do at 2am!

Finally - A Hands Down Explanation!

2010-06-14T23:17:00.000+09:00

Recently I read the book called "Why Men Want Sex and Women Need Love." It is a humorous, yet fact based book highlighting some of the reasons why men and woman seek / stay / or cheat in relationships.

One of the chapters was mentioning the fact that men have a higher sex drive than women. I hear this ALL the time - and I have often wondered "am I a freak of nature? " 'cause I have never had a lower sex drive than any man I dated...

Apparently only 18% of all women have a sex drive equivalent to a mans. Apparently some women, while tiny adorable fetuses (fetusi?) were exposed to higher levels of testosterone and badda-bing, badda-boom! Higher sex drive as an adult!

This brings us the hands. The hands above show a woman's hand (cute nails!) and a mans hand. Note that on the woman's hand, the index finger and ring finger are about the same length. In many women, the index finger is a bit longer than the ring finger.

On a mans hand, the ring finger is longer.

Okay...so what does this mean? Well, women who were exposed to higher levels of testosterone in the womb, have man hands! Ring finger longer than index finger!!

Now I understand my problem!! I have man hands! Waaa!!!

For a good time call...

2010-06-13T17:22:00.003+09:00

I think that pictures of the above person, (AKA: my friend-boy), like most of us, could be distributed as follows:

10% - OMG! I look horrible, burn this!
80% - pleasant, average, cute
10% - I can not breathe! Too much hotness!

I will classify the above photo as falling in the 10% - Hot! category.

Oddly, it seems that photographs of models fall more in a 20% - Burn this!, 70% - pleasant, 10% - hot. Probably we get so overly familiar with the photo-shopped view, that anything else looks pitiful.

Do a Google search for: Madonna, photo shop - and see the before/after examples!

Anyway - I digress from the topic at hand. That of calling someone.

Most of you know that Japanese cell phones allow a cell phone to cell phone type email, and also - if you are on the same carrier as the other person - c-mail; like SMS in the US. For the past two days, I attempted to contact the friend-boy in both these manners. And tried to call.

I received an "account has been disabled" message.

So, here are the possible reasons for such:

1. He was short on cash and did not pay his bill.
2. He changed his carrier / number / phone email - and did not tell me.
3. He has blocked me, and only me!

How possible are these reasons?

Reason 2 - highly unlikely. He works freelance and it would be a matter of inconvenience to change all his contact information as he would have to notify about 100 contacts.

Reason 1 - possible. He just returned from an out of the country trip and had spent quite a bit.

Reason 3 - probable. I am of defeatist personality and assume the worst. But hey, that's just me!

HMV Shibuya to Close!

2010-06-12T11:26:00.003+09:00

While the purchase of overpriced music in Japan is still much alive, physical forms such as CDs are dropping for more intangible forms such as itune and keitai downloads. This is causing the August closure of the huge HMV flagship store in Shibuya.

I do not purchase many CDs...or physical distribution items of music, as some marketing firms might say. I do not like the space they take up, and when I move from place to place, I would either have to lug them along - or give them up....

Also, while they are not so expensive in the US (about $12-14), in Japan, a CD can easily cost $29-35.

Still, I like to go look at CDs....note the cover work, spot artists I have not seen before, mock the displays for singers I dislike (*cough* miley cyrus...tween skank).

But more than this, I have a sentimental attachment to this HMV store. It was one of the places I went with my friend-boy on our first meeting. After the initial meet at Hachiko (very cliched, I know, but cliches are often based on usefulness!), we had lunch at an Indian restaurant, then went to HMV. I wanted to get the new Sade CD (Whoo hoo! First album in 10 years! Soldier of Love....but I digress) so he suggested this store.

We wandered the aisles, and upon spotting the appropriate section, he told me how much he likes The Ramones. (This I would have known anyway for his slightly hunched posture, clothing choices, and haircut!) Nay, he proclaimed them g-ds!

I must take a moment of silence....*sigh*

The Daily Duty

2010-06-03T11:17:00.003+09:00

Argh! The Asian toilet!

If I am camping, I expect to need to squat for "business." But when I am in civilization....
Are these supposedly more sanitary? Sure, you do not touch your bottom to porcelain, but
the floor around them is usually moist....and not from clean water! (As we ladies do not have the aim able organs.)

Maintaining balance is difficult in the best of situations. Add to that, pants, hosiery, heels, slick floor...

I am not pleased with these! I will use one in a pinch, but I have gladly given my time, when not in a hurry, to waiting for the one Western style stall to open up!

My Sideline...

2010-06-03T11:03:00.003+09:00

In addition to my rather banal, boring daily events - I also have a "I'm so frickin' cool" persona. For several years, "back in the day," I worked in radio, music production, etc. Of course, I put all that aside in the interest of growing up...but for whatever reason, Tokyo has became my place of experimental dreams.

So, I have decided to take all my years of music industry experience, my keen "coolness" factor, my MBA (G-d knows it needs to be used for something!) , my love of cyberspace novels, and interest in virtual means of life - and start my own business.

It is called: InterIdoru, and the company will provide services for musicians/bands. I will specialize in Virtual Touring, Virtual Promotion, Virtual Management.

You can view my "first draft" website at: http://www.wix.com/interidoru/interidoru
I also have a facebook page and MySpace page for InterIdoru.

Okay...back to the routine...

Imaginary Date

2010-05-26T13:01:00.001+09:00

Am I wrong to enjoy a crowded commuter train ride in Tokyo?

Maybe I'm the only one who has the "imaginary date" fantasy of being surrounded by several / many adorable Asian men?

(note: "imaginary date" fantasy means something I dare not express in mixed company! ;) )

Receiving a Lecture

2010-05-21T17:01:00.007+09:00

Last Saturday night, I spent some time with a friend-boy of mine. (note: friend-boy...a friend that is a male, more than just a platonic friend, but not quite a boyfriend.)

My experience with this particular friend-boy has always been positive. He is funny, intelligent, clever, quirky, talented, and has always been kind to me. Certainly I had already realized he is a strong personality - and he holds disdain for people he feels are close-minded or posers.

So, about three months of shiny, happy fun...

But last Saturday....not so much fun. I think the entire night was a lecture of some sort...

"You need to join a gym. Lose weight. Lose it fast!"

"And learn Japanese! You live in Japan but don't know it? Learn it!"
"Did I mention you should lose weight?"

"And learn hirigana - should only take you a day to learn them!"

"If you lost weight Japanese men will like you more!"

"And you can't just speak English everywhere!"

I think...in between these statements, he made some other general conversation. But if

he smiled once the whole time, I can not recall it.

Then he left abruptly to go home.

In fairness, he did say he needs to join the gym and lose weight - pshaw! Maybe 2.5 kg.

And he reminded me that he had to learn Japanese when he moved here.

BUT, he is from China! Doesn't knowing 9000+ kanji give you some advantage? He just learned new pronunciations - but already knew the meanings. Hell, he only had to learn new pronunciations for 2000 of them.

And I am quite sure that years of writing kanji, and having a brain that is used to a pictorial method of language, must be some advantage in learning those cute squiggly kana!

And yeah...so I uhm...I joined the gym and contacted a teacher for Japanese lessons...

Is it Worth My/Your Time?

2010-05-13T08:15:00.003+09:00

When given an opportunity for a new work assignment or project, many of us just look at the amount to be paid or salary. If the number looks good, we accept. Consideration of more than just money is not specific to Tokyo, but in such a large city and with lengthy commute times - this consideration becomes important.

Recently I accepted a job assignment. At initial glance, it seemed great. First, the job was teaching at a Senior High School - this is my ideal job setting. The pay, while not super high, was acceptable. For ease of this stories calculation examples, let us say the pay was $100 per day.

My work day was to be 8:30-4:00pm with a one-hour lunch. Okay, simple division...$14.28 per hour. It's "okay" pay - plus it is valuable "in Japan" experience!

But I had commuting cost; $7 per day. So, pay is actually $93...divide by hours...$13.28 per hour.

Wait! how much time am I spending commuting? 1 hour and 45 minutes each way! Total of 3 hours, 30 minutes. So, my work day is basically 10 hours, 30 minutes...divide by pay...$9.02 per hour.

I had to decide, and you should consider any project similarly, is my time worth it? Based on work hours, commute time, commute costs, aggravation of lengthy commute time...is the pay worth it?

I think it is important to develop a personal "minimum wage" that is acceptable, and add in commute time to work hours - and then see how much you are making per hour.

Is the experience going to be that good? Is the long commute making you lose other opportunities for work and friendships?

Coffee

2010-05-08T05:37:00.004+09:00

I DO love the coffee!

Having spent the previous five years living in the Pacific Northwest, I grew to enjoy the drive-thru coffee shops. Like mushrooms after the rain! Tiny drive-thru coffee stands are every block or half block where I lived.

Brewed Awakening, Cool Beans, Java Joe's, etcetra, etcetra.

Japan, while more of a "tea" country, seems to be embracing the coffee-ness. Hence you can find a Starbucks or a Doutor or another Starbucks almost anywhere you go.

Now, I don't dislike Starbucks...they are like McDonald's. Does McD have the BEST cheeseburger? No. But it's okay. And regardless of country, you know what that cheeseburger will have on it / in it.

Starbucks coffee is...okay. Some of the drinks are a bit better than okay. Their coffee tastes just a shade burnt though.

Doutor, I guess the Japanese Starbucks (?), is okay too. But the coffee does not taste quite as strong as I like. Their food items are better than Starbucks though...Doutor has these cool warm pita sandwiches which are yummy!

But I really miss Bellingham-area local franchise of "Cruisin' Coffee." These drive-thru slices of heaven are open 24 hours a day - for your coffee, muffin, bagel needs! Mm....my daughter loves the Cool Coffee Cream (a cold coffee, ice cream drink) and I often went for the Grande Hazelnut Capuccino. Whole milk please! Two toasted sesame bagels, one for each of us, and off we go!

ps: for those with no car, you can "walk-thru!"

BETTER Sexy Song!

2010-05-04T22:48:00.002+09:00

For those who do not know, I think Miyavi is one of the best guitarists ever! I might even say his adorableness was one of the reasons I moved to Japan.

I was fortunate to see him perform in San Fransisco at a small venue in 2008. Great, great show!

Kabuki Boiz, Samurai Rock!

Mmmm....Sexy Song....

2010-05-04T01:40:00.002+09:00

The Tale of the Kimochi-warui, Part III

2010-05-04T01:04:00.002+09:00

Ah, this sordid tale....it's really more humorous when told verbally. Here, you miss the facial expressions of horror and bemusement!

Anyway, I continued this odd relationship for about 4 months. It usually went something like this:

I email him (note: sample template email - not exact wording of course!) : "Hi. How are you? How is work? Are you still working on the XYZ project? My work is bla, bla. Want to come over for dinner Friday?"

No response. Then two weeks later, he emails: "Want u. Miss u. XOXO" Then he would show up and bang on the door at some random time - might be during the day, might be at night. If it was during the day, I was at work - but I would hear about it from my daughter.

"Mommy! KM came by. He banged on the door for 10 minutes!"

If he came over at night, we would all (he, I, daughter) go for a walk around the neighborhood - off to Don Quixote, random stores, etc. At the end, he always wanted "some time alone." AND
he always, always made some request for oral sex in the darkened entry way or outside behind the mailboxes!

If he did suggest we get something to eat - when the server brought the ticket, he would pick it up - stare at it, then stare at me - then stare back at the ticket - then me. I understood he meant that I should give him some money.

If we all went out to eat, usually he would only put in about 500-600 yen. I paid the remaining. In fact, one time - he gave me 100 yen for an 1100 yen ticket. AND this is a man with a real full-time job.

Except for that one time/first time I declined this dubious honor. I would try to decline with explanations of: this isn't a good location, people could come by, my daughter is on the other side of the door, etc.

This just pissed him off! "You owe me! I bought you dinner last month! I bought your daughter a pair of boots before!"

'Tis true - he did buy her a cool pair of boots. And he was rather kind about it; he noted she looked sad and hoped she would feel happier.

It was these once/twice acts of niceness that kept me thinking that maybe he was not so creepy...maybe I was being unfair.

So I tried arranging actual "dates" with him - a movie? actual planned dinner? go dancing?
Nope. He would never respond to my invites, and never made a invitation.

He would just send short emails, and show up randomly.

I emailed him my concerns: that he never made actual plans with me, so I had no time to arrange another activity for my daughter to do while he and I went out. He would not email actual topics. No response to my questions on his work, day, mood. And never any questions as to mine.

Still no change from him. So, I started not answering the door. And I would reply to his emails with "That is sweet, but I am not the right girl for you. I think you should find another girl that suits you better."

I thought this indirect approach would work. He is Japanese after all! Masters of indirect meaning?! Reading the air and all?!

His behavior remained the same. Random knocks on the door and emails of "want u. miss u. dont u want me? XOXO"

Uh, no! No! No!

As I avoided him, he began to instant message me - "you have another boy? why u so mean to me?"

At first, I responded that it was not another guy, it was just we were unsuited for each other. We had nothing in common. He never wanted actual dates. AND he always wanted me to pay.

He replied that I was too mean to him, and he did not agree to stop seeing me.

I thought - okay, I will tell him I am seeing someone. Maybe THAT will be the kindest? quickest?

Oh my G-d! His response...."What? U cheat me? What kind of person are u? How u cheat on me when we dating?"

To tell the truth, I really had not thought there was anything serious going on - would anyone assume someone actually thinks you are boyfriend/girlfriend when he only emails every 2 weeks? And makes no plans? And is cheap to boot?

THEN, he told me that he will go...IF I have sex with him. That I owe him sex for his time - then he agrees to break up! AND I have to find him a new girl.

Bwa ha ha! I rolled on the floor with that one.

Then he called me a "puta." (Something I had found attractive in the beginning - he speaks Spanish, as do I. He likes salsa music, so do I. I foolishly thought we could go Salsa dancing...what was I thinking?!) And disconnected the IM chat.

The next morning...bang, bang, bang...on the door. He called my name. More banging. I ignored it.

Later I emailed him - "Do not contact me again or I will contact the police."

Ah, the joys of a country where people ARE afraid of the police. Or seemingly so. I have not heard from him since!

Do Hosts Make Good Boyfriends?

2010-04-29T20:40:00.004+09:00

I think many of us can agree that Hosts are mighty mighty pretty! They are fashionable, amusing, and probably spend more time on their hair than any self-respecting girl does! And they work in a business of producing either pretend romance, or at least flattering amusement.

But do they make for good real boyfriends? I personally know - or know of - 7 couples which are made up of Western Woman/Asian Host Male.

My first point of interest is that one does not see many Western woman/Asian male couples. Probably due to a variety of reasons: 1. Asian men are more shy and reticent to use their poor English skills in approaching a foreign woman, 2. Western women often are not attracted to Asian guys, 3. Even if attracted, woman often do not come to Asia with the idea of it being a long term situation - they are here for a year or so for the experience, 4. Perhaps even if man is willing to approach woman, possible societal stigma of dating/marrying non-Asian?

So, why, in a pairing rather unusual, is the male often a Host? My idea is perhaps: 1. Hosts tend to be more adventurous and outgoing than a regular salary-man, so they are willing to approach Western woman, 2. Their lifestyle is also non-conformist so social ideas of marrying only Asian are not so important to them, 3. And their ever so fashionable selves make them more attractive to us Western women.

(note: this is just my pondering...feel free to suggest other reasons...)

So, this gets to the question of, do Hosts make good boyfriends? Of the 7 couples I previously mentioned, 4 are happy and together. 2 have broken up. 1 is shaky.

Now, the 2 broken up couples. These couples met at/in the respective Host club employment spot of the man. Both girls then continued to go to same Host club, and requested the "future" boyfriend, and spent their money on him/with him on-site. At some point, they started actually dating outside the club, and one couple decided to live together.

Why the break-ups? Hm...well, both girls told me that the guys tended to be untrustworthy and unfaithful. Always needing money. Sleeping with other girls. Claiming they just HAD to sleep with other women to keep their ranking up at the club!

As for the "shaky" couple...similar situation. He works a lot, sleeps with clients. She is trying to see if it is worth salvaging.

As for the 4 couples who are happy and together. Only 1 met at/in the club. The others happened to meet out and about in Tokyo. Coffee shop, shopping, or introduced by mutual friends. The one couple who met in the club - while she did return to the club for a night of fun, she did not request him or spend money on him.

These woman find their Host boyfriends to be great - charming, oh so fashionable, fun, and quite trustworthy!

The Tale of the Kimochi-warui, Part II

2010-04-28T21:24:00.005+09:00

I initially chalked the odd email off to difference in language. KW (note: I'll call him by initials KW so as to have an identity - even though I did not realize he was a KW/creepy guy until later on.) did live in London for four years and spoke English reasonably well, but there can always be cultural nuances and difficulties.

I did not hear from KW for about a week. Then a short email "miss you. want you. XOXO"
Uh.....that's....sweet?

I emailed back "that's kind. do you want to have dinner together friday?"
No response back for three days.

Then - knock, knock - on the door. Huh? I only know a few people in Tokyo. Who is at the door? Oh....it's KW!

I let him in. He wants to go to dinner. At McDonalds. I am accepting of this as my daughter is fine with McDonalds and I am broke! He gives me an odd look when I tell him I have little money, and we'd need to bring my daughter. Was I supposed to leave my 11 year old alone, at night, when he had just randomly shown up?

We go to Mickey D's. When the cashier rings up the total, he looks at me - and asks if I can pay for part with the little money I do have. I give him 500 yen.

After we eat, we walk back to my apartment. He asks if he can talk to me alone for a minute. I ask my daughter to go on upstairs - I'll be up soon. She leaves....he wants to make out in the darkness of the entrance way.

I'm actually okay with this. He seems sort of nice. He seems sort of reasonably employed. Somewhat fun. But then....he wants me to provide oral gratification in the public entrance way!!!

Whoa! This is a public area! It is dark, but not so late that no one would come this way! And is this some sort of required payback for McDonalds?

I try to politely say no. He gets a bit angry. Tells me I am rude and mean to him. And don't I like him?

I ponder...how to get out of this...I calculate my skill level at requested activity...and factor that I could just do it and have this scene over with in 3 minutes...

2.5 minutes later - I said good night and went upstairs.

The Tale of the Kimochi-warui, Part I

2010-04-26T21:05:00.004+09:00

Previously I mentioned the idea of getting "picked up" in Japan. We usually think of Japanese men as being shy, reticent to approach strangers.

I had only been in Japan about 4 weeks, when a man approached me in my local train station. I had just gone through the turnstile when he walked up.

He: "Hi."
Me: "Uhm, hi." I kept walking. He's probably just being polite since I stepped in to his line of vision.
He: "How are you?"
Me: "Fine, thank you. You?" My grandparents taught me my manners!
He: "Good. You from America?"
Me: "Yes." Ah hah! He must want to learn English. I'm being approached for English lessons! How will I get it across that I don't teach for free - no English bandits, please! Did I bring my business cards? I'm on my way to an appointment...how do I end this conversation without being rude. I tromp up the stairs - he is still in close proximity.
He: "Look. I think you are cute and I want to have a coffee with you."
Me: Stunned silence.
He: "You give me your keitai number?"

At the time, I did not have a cell phone. (In fact, I did not get a cell phone until I had been in Japan almost 6 months. I used email, skype, and pay phones.) We exchanged email addresses instead. Then before I got on the train, he leaned in for a little hug. I thought...that is sweet but also a little odd. Only in Mexico have I noticed people doing a little hug or close greeting to people just met.

I went on to my appointment and returned home about three hours later. Logging in to my email, there was already a message from him. My daughter, ever hovering over my shoulder, demanded to know who the email was from. Who is he? How did I meet him? Does he look like a girl?

His email was short and to the point. "Like you. Want see u. Coffee Saturday?"
Well, I guess short emails are okay. I reply that Saturday at 6pm would be fine.
He replies "See u then. XOXO"
Hm...XOXO? I don't know....that's a little...well, maybe he just thinks it's cute.

Saturday rolls around. I get dressed, my daughter insists on doing my make-up. She wants to try this new "smokey eye" technique she saw Carmindy do. I am to meet the guy at 6 at my local train station. I leave my house at 5:57 as the station is just a couple blocks away. My daughter escorts me there - she will go home after "dropping me off." We arrive at 6:04pm.

The guy is there. I introduce him to my daughter, she leaves. He says "I sent you an email when you weren't here at 6. Just ignore it." Uh, okay.

We start to walk to Doutor for coffee. He grabs my hand to hold it. Is it me? This seems creepy...I don't know this guy and he wants to hold hands...we get to the coffee place...he wants to sit right beside me...IN MY PERSONAL BUBBLE! I feel weird, he is to close. I tell him that I am shy and am uncomfortable with public affection...could he scoot over?

Then while we drink coffee, he continually wants to hold hands and sit closer - and take millions of cell phone pics of us smiling and making faces at the camera.

He walks me back to my apartment building. We say good-bye - he will email soon.

I go upstairs. Greet daughter, make dinner - check email. At 6:01 he had sent an email...
He: "It is 6. Where are u? Are you rude and not show up? What is wrong with you?"

I think, is this already creepy? Or just the language difference?

Twilight - without Vampires

2010-04-21T21:00:00.002+09:00

A perfect twilight! Tonight, I met a friend at Doutor Cafe in Ginza. I had to take a picture of my view.

Tokyo has these small moments of perfect beauty. Like a girl getting ready for a date - she starts out plain, but the excitement of the night ahead brings out her blush!

Can't Get Me No (Job) Satisfaction...

2010-04-18T20:08:00.002+09:00

Working! A Job! Argh....really, if only I could get paid to sleep! Where is that job?

Actually, I do like teaching. It took me years of different careers and employment fields to realize that the only thing I like to do is go to school - and since it is difficult to make money being a student, being a teacher is the next best thing!

Recently I was on the job hunt again - my teaching contract was over for the 2009-2010 term, and it was time to find a new contract. My previous contract had me placed at a school that took almost a two hour commute - door to door. So, short commute was high on my list of priorities.

Also, I really hate to strapped for money. Tokyo has high living expenses anyway, so I wanted more extra spending money as well.

Initially, I was offered several high school teaching jobs. Unfortunately the money was less than the previous contract AND the commute was just as long. I declined these.

What seemed a perfect job came to me. A small International preschool nearby! Only 20 minute commute, great pay, paid vacations. Sure, the age group was younger...the kids would be 2 and 3...and my specialty is high school age...but no biggie!

I took this exciting new job. I loved the short commute, I adored my pay per hour, the staff was great. The kids were....2. And 3. And some need diaper change. And runny noses wiped. And to be feed at lunch.

I tried to convince myself that due to short commute, better pay - I could do this! Man-up! Bite the bullet!

But...I just could not...I had to realize that money and commute time, at least in my case, will not give me any satisfaction. I was miserable and frustrated. I had to force myself to go in to work. I lasted two weeks before I gave up.

This situation reminded me that job satisfaction comes from the job you do - are you making a difference? are you doing what you enjoy? do you want to get up and go to work?

Fortunately, immediately upon leaving, I received an email with another job offer - same pay as previous high school job, but commute of only 45 minutes (rather than 2 hours!), and back with high school students.

Parent Guilt

2010-04-18T19:50:00.002+09:00

As my daughter is currently staying with her father, I try to call about every 8-9 days. The time difference between Tokyo and Dallas makes it a bit difficult to plan - when I'm awake, she is asleep or at school and vice versa. Often I call at about 7:30am (her time) - she is awake and dressed, and soon to leave for school - so we can do a brief catch-up and I wish her a good day.

My parenting style and personality is VERY different from my ex-husbands. He is a very strict parent, and has some old-fashioned ideas of what is proper for a "young miss." He will not let her, or her step-sister attend sleep-overs at friends homes because there might be boys around. The girls can not use tampons, as that means they are no longer virgins. And they must wear dresses or skirts, not pants or jeans, when they go out to eat or to a party.

Interestingly, his step-son, who is only 13, can sleep at friends, date, wear what he wants, etc. But he is a future MAN!

Apparently he is also boring. According to my daughter. She has been there for about two months - and she says they have gone to see two movies, and eaten out three times. They do not go to the park, festivals, school functions, amusement parks, shopping malls, or outdoor activities. The kids go to school, go to one school extra-curricular activity, and home. No music lessons, scouts, etc.

I reminded her that she always tells me that I am boring, but she replied "You aren't as boring as him, if only for the fact you are crazy!"

She cries when I call her. Says she is bored, she has a hard time getting along with her step-siblings. I remind her that she did not life living in Tokyo any better - she refused to go to school, she would not do her chores. Her reply is that if I would just return to living in Bellingham Washington, all would be fine. She would live with me, go to school, and do what she is supposed to.

Unfortunately, that just isn't an option. And I feel bad that she is sad.

Covert PDA!

2010-04-14T22:24:00.002+09:00

Many of you may know that the US seems to be the home of gratuitous and often inappropriate PDA (Public displays of affection). I am not talking about holding hands - I'm talking about full-on make out sessions in restaurants, full body groping in the grocery store isle, extreme foreplay on the beach.

Most of the intense PDA makes me uncomfortable. Either it's just wrong place/wrong time or the people are not ANYONE I want to see involved in such activity. If I want to see that much groping, I have a variety of AV sites bookmarked on my inter-webs, thank you very much!

Japan is known for restraint in public emotion AND physical displays. Certainly I see many girls holding hands and walking jauntily down the street. It is great to see these friends / sisters / mom-daughter combos so pleased. And I see young men with arms linked to share umbrellas in the rain. But I have yet to see a public kiss or grope!

What I do find adorable is the covert or "cute" PDA I see here. I see couple on the train side by side on the seat - fingertips barely touching, and her head on his shoulder. Supposedly she has fallen asleep? Hm, if it were me, I'd be faking sleep to to lean my head over too!

The other fun way is the train stance. People are often pressed together in the crowded train cars - we expect a level of closeness then. But when the train car clears, and Happy Couple stay bunched up - total cute PDA!

The Tokyo Pick-Up

2010-04-12T20:35:00.002+09:00

I am always surprised, and somewhat confused, when a strange man approaches me in Tokyo. I often assume they just want English practice...and then I figure out that is not the case.

First, it happens more often here than it EVER did in the United States. Not to say that men come up to me ALL the time here - I am sure that an adorable Western girl of age 22 gets more play than I. I'm old and overweight, so....if I had to average the experiences...I would say that a man approaches me on the street or train platform about once every 9 days. So...3 times a month?

I have been approached while shopping for shampoo, waiting for the crosswalk to change to green, entering a train car, checking train route signs, accepting tissues, returning to my work, or just walking on the sidewalk.

A variety of men speak to me. The first few months were usually men from African countries - apparently liking the fact that I am larger than girls here. Also a man from India, an American, and two Japanese. Now, the numbers of African men have dwindled, and the numbers of Asian men increase. (This is fine by me - after all, I am on the proverbial look-out for an acceptable "Japanese beau" to "shack up with.")(Second note - quotations due to profile description of another blogger and her living sitch: Green-eyed Geisha) (Third note: I say Japanese, but Korean and Chinese are equally as charming and adorable!)

The second reason I am always so surprised is that I have read/heard that Japanese men are extremely shy or closed. Based on that, when a stranger talks to me - I am taken back.

Generally I hear a "Hello miss" and the conversation begins - or at least staggers on. I do not speak Japanese - for which I apologize. I am polite - after all, it is flattering to be approached. And I often, although not always, agree to one coffee meet - it takes courage to approach a random stranger. Plus, then I can suss out their purpose. Is it because they want a "language exchange" friend or something else? (I would hate to miss out on a potential paying private language student!)

BUT the purpose of this post is not to give a count-down of attempted pick-ups. It is only to give the lead in to a story I want to share in the near future - "The Tale of the Kimochi-warui!!"

Elementary School in Japan

2010-04-10T23:14:00.003+09:00

For anyone moving to Japan with children, the question arises of enrolling the children in Japanese public school or paying top dollar for private "International" schools. I feel that the choice is not just one to based on money, but also the age and/or attitude of the child.

A public elementary school is - just like in North America - free! The only cost is school supplies, lunches, milk. Pretty standard fees. Convenience is also high as there are schools every few blocks - so the walk to elementary school is bound to be 7 minutes or less. Children are pretty open to new experience, so they also make new friends quickly and pick up Japanese culture pointers naturally.

Of course, the language of instruction is Japanese. Your child, as mine did, may just sit in class utterly confused while science, math, and social studies classes go on around him/her in an unknown language. Some wards of Tokyo do provide free language instruction to foreign children - my ward actually sent a special teacher to the school two days a week to teach my daughter Japanese. (This service is also free for the first 10 weeks of instruction.) Most schools also teach English as a once or twice a week class - so your child will have one class they understand everything in! Plus, the English teacher may be willing to help your child by translating assignments on non-English class days.

Another difference is the rigidity of classroom routine. Each day has the same basic routine, and all students do the same thing at the same time. Everyone stands up, everyone sits, everyone stands in the line, everyone has bathroom break, everyone cleans, everyone eats. There is no splitting of the class into groups with each group doing different things.

For my daughter, this was the deal breaker. She was willing to wear the hat that all elementary school kids wear while walking to/from school, she liked having special shoes for in-school, she found the required P.E. cap amusing, she wrote notes to and read notes from her classmates who could write English but were too shy to speak it - but she could not handle the group actions.

As for private International schools, they use English as their language of instruction, so this makes matters easier immediately. Some schools maintain the group actions of the standard Japanese school, others adapt a more Westernized approach. The killer on these is that most schools charge tuition near a USD equivalent of $20,000 per school year. For me, price made this option impossible for me.

My daughter lasted in Japanese elementary school for about 2 1/2 months. At that point, she gave up and refused to go! I ended up trying to do some homeschooling work with her when I would get home from work.

It made for a hard life. Work for 8-9 hours while my daughter was home alone (safe for sure, enjoying hours of movies and Internet games! But somewhat starved for human contact.), then return home to do a couple hours of home teaching, then to do general household tasks.

I had to ponder the decisions of: continue to home school? force her to attend public school? move back to the US?

In the end of the thinking, I made the most difficult decision - I chose to change custodial assignments with my ex-husband. We decided that my daughter would reside with him (in the US) for school terms, and with me for summer breaks and alternate winter breaks. So, in February, she flew to Dallas TX and began attending middle school there.

Regardless of how this arrangement works, I feel I have failed somehow in my parenting.

Spring Arrives in Tokyo

2010-04-09T01:22:00.000+09:00

It is obvious that spring has arrived here in Tokyo. Most people will eagerly anticipate the return of the lovely cherry blossom. There are festivals, picnics, specially themed drinks and cakes - all for the celebration of the cherry blossom arrival.

Certainly, as for new beginnings, it is also the start of the new school year here, as well as the usual time for batches of new entry-level employees to begin their new life of employment.

As much as I appreciate and enjoy the cherry blossoms - their delicate leaves high above me, or scattered on the ground like a pink carpet leading me on a path of joy - I also enjoy another spring ritual...

The return of outdoor grooming rituals of the city peacock...

Grooming Habits of Birds

2010-04-09T01:15:00.005+09:00

With warmer weather, these City Peacocks can now come outside for their social interactions and community grooming habits. (Cold weather usually keeps them closer to their protective aviary habitats known as the Host Clubs.)

Note how they perch on available branches in groups. Rarely are they seen alone. Also note the group activity of preening. Not only do they groom themselves, but they assist fellow flock members.

As the weather becomes more pleasant with each passing day, I anticipate even more small groupings of these adorable creatures - each displaying their feathered head proudly, adorned with various colorful accessories and colorful appendages - all in effort to attract the female of the species.

I must admit, I do have some branches of cherry blossoms in my apartment - I wonder if I should also get one of these as well....I DO like pets!

The Early Months of Childhood Discontent

2010-04-09T00:25:00.004+09:00

Early months in Tokyo were difficult at best!

My job (note: to be called JFH or Job from Hell henceforth) had no set salary - but was based per lesson. Being new to the location, and working day hours rather than night, made me lessons booked rather sketchy. There were days I went in to work at 10am and stayed until 6:30pm - to have only 2 lessons. Needless to say, my paycheck was not adequate to pay living expenses.

To compensate, I started picking up some private students. Personally I love private students. I a paid more than when working for someone else, I set my own schedule, there is more freedom in lesson plans, and I like to feel my students are similar to friends. They are fun, energetic, and intelligent.

With my paycheck, I would pay for my commuter pass and part of my rent. With private student fees, I paid for groceries and household items.

AND I spent a lot of time apologizing to my landlord, begging forgiveness from the landlord. I would have to go to the rental office and apologize and apologize...
It's embarrassing enough to be late with rent in ones native country - imagine doing it in a new place with a language barrier. And in a place with high importance on image and correct behavior. I immediately failed in correct behavior!!

This leads to my daughters discontent...

With no extra money, we were not able to view the city, visit museums, go to Disney Sea or Sanrio Puroland. No Ueno Zoo or Takeshita Dori shopping.

Meals were hauntingly similar. Rice and gyoza. Ramen and gyoza. Rice and ramen. (note: interestingly, packs of ramen can be purchased at 10/$1.00 in the USA, but they are 1/125yen here. It seems that since they are MADE here, they would be cheaper. I considered having my ramen packs imported from the States! Friends could jam about 30 in an overseas envelope and send them bulk mail.)

My daughter was bored also. Fortunately a Japanese native friend helped me enroll her in elementary school. The process was very different than I am used to. Here, I had to go to the city office - for questions and document review. Then to the actual school for an interview meeting. Then back to the city office to turn in documents from the meeting. Then back to the school with the stamped confirmation from the city office. (note: why can't things be faxed? and why are the meetings so long? In a way, the length and extra time was amusing and quaint. In other ways, it was confusing and perhaps needless?)

But at last, school attendance could begin.

Eikawa: or The Hellish Nightmare of English Conversation School

2010-04-04T21:31:00.000+09:00

I'm not going to focus much on the job I had for my first 5 months in Tokyo. Because I dislike languishing in negativity and complaints.

That being said, let me express my opinion...ARRGGGHHHH!

I was hired by a large Eikawa in Japan. (They shall remain nameless for now.) I thank them for their recruitment, and the legitimate Japanese work visa.

What are my issues with the job? Well...

I told them that my experience was mainly in teaching Business English, so they said I would be placed at a location with LOTS of Business Clients.
-I was placed in a location with almost no business clients. Mostly hobby learners, and children.

I told them that I would live in Shin-Okubo. They said I would be placed at a location in Shinjuku or Ikebukuro - as it was close and LOTS of business clients.
-I was placed in a rather far away residential center.

They said that training was paid.
-No, it was not.

They said that I would be paid for a minimum amount of lessons (160) per month, and could make more money if I taught more than that.
-No. Just paid by lesson, and they ENCOURAGE teachers to teach at least 160 - but no promised salary.

They said that after three months, teachers get a pay raise if they have attended some various workshops (unpaid) and have good scores from students.
-Only get a pay raise if the company feels they can "afford" to have higher ranked teachers. You might qualify for the raise, but have to wait 2,4, or more months. And it is not retroactive.

So....my experience with Eikawa was not great. Personally, I think that for a single person or a person with no children - it might be okay. Most general learners book lessons after 6pm. A person with no family could work late every night and get maximum lessons. They could work at two centers - go to one in the day for business clients, another at night for hobby learners.

Although, even as a single person/non-parent - it seems so much time would be spent at work, there would be minimal chance to see and enjoy Japan.

But I got some "teach English IN Japan" experience to go with my "teaching English in the US" experience. I made a great friend from one of my students. So...for all the hardships, it worked out.

The Tokyo Diet

2010-04-04T21:01:00.000+09:00

As previously mentioned, when I moved to Tokyo - my small amount of savings was further downsized by a nasty downturn in the exchange rate. After the exchange - I had enough for the 3 days in the hotel, first months rent and deposit, and a couple of days of transportation.

And I would no get paid for at least a month!

Now, there was some anticipation of money; after all I would be fool to move across the ocean with no income, right? Prior to the move, I finalized my divorce documents including child support. Based on my child's fathers income, it seemed I would receive an adequate sum for each week (note: he refused to pay child support once a month - preferring once a week - in his attempt to keep me from using the money for my "personal upkeep.").

Surprisingly...when I called him three days after moving, to give him my new bank information and also wiring instructions - he decided to tell me he would NOT pay the support amount. After all, I am an evil woman who would likely use it for my "nastiness" (note: WTF?) and he has "beeznises" (note: yes, accent correct. My ex is a Mexican national.) to tend.

At this point, picture me falling to the floor and throwing a tantrum. Hands beating the floor in the living area - feet pounding in the kitchen - due to tiny apartment size.

On that day, I had 1600yen, 6 packs of microwaveable rice, 2 energy bars (left over in suitcase from the plane), and a box of green tea bags.

And payday was a month away.

Thank heaven for 7-11! (This being the American 7-11 slogan.) Apparently the 7-11 in Japan has it's own house brand of cheap and decent food!

So, for 9 days - we ate 7-11 Gyoza (only 100 yen for a pack of 5), 7-11 Ramen (only 210 yen for a pack of 3), our microwaveable rice, green tea.

In the interest of honesty and full disclosure, I have to admit that I also "borrowed" some items from the 100yen shop. 2 packs of spaghetti, 2 packs of pasta sauce, a bag of mixed nuts, and 3 coke zeros.

(I promise to return the items someday...I will probably just casually leave some yen near the cash register...)

And we walked! We walked everywhere! Shin-Okubo to Shinjuku. Shin-Okubo to Shibuya. I even walked from Shin-Okubo to Ebisu for my work training (2 days - unpaid! The bastards!)

My fatigue and confusion must have been obvious when walking home from Ebisu that first day. A man approached me and asked if I was lost. I told him I needed to make sure I was on Meiji Dori as I needed to get to Shin-Okubo. He asked why I didn't just take the train. I told him I had no money - so he gave me 500 yen.

I bought the CHILD ticket home. Must conserve the yen!

After 9 days, I mustered up the courage to borrow 5000yen from a friend AND the Dark Overlord (note: baby daddy, ex-husband) sent $200 (or about 16800yen).

This covered my work transportation and groceries.

Of course, now I had to worry about next months rent. Payday was coming - BUT, oh yeah - seems the job I accepted paid by lesson (itaku) rather than salary. And new people don't have that many lessons. And my open lessons were in the daytime, but more people take lessons at night...I see a teeny tiny check in my future...

At least it will keep us on the Tokyo Diet. Perhaps weighing 50 kg is achievable?

Why my Hair Salon is better than a Host Club

2010-03-31T21:33:00.001+09:00

Let me take a moment away from my "catching up" posts to my current train of thought.

I go to a rather expensive hair salon here in Tokyo. I say expensive - because the price for color
and highlights is about 23100 yen. (US dollars = $248) No, that does not include a cut.

In the interest of honesty, I do receive some discount as the stylist wants to practice his English - so rather than paying for a lesson, he discounts the fee. I just have to stay awake and ramble in English while my hair is done.

But back to why the money is better spent at the salon than a host club....

The salon is on an upper floor of a lovely building in Ginza. Excellent atmosphere, surrounded by luxury. Entering the salon, one is greeted by soothing music and lilting aromatherapy scents.

The decor is more like a upscale lounge or club rather than salon - each area is curtained off with gauzy golden curtains, the floor is marble, there are candles and chandeliers. The furniture, including the stylist chairs, are styled in a sort of French Versailles mode.

I'm greeted by two receptionists - one a lovely woman, the other is a perfect example of bishonen goodness. Tall, very slim, snug cut suit, coiffed hair, tweezed eyebrows...and I'm pretty sure he is wearing makeup...and he smells good. He dashes to get me a magazine and bottled water.

My stylist pops out to say hi, then go back to the current client. He is also just a lovely example of beautiful male. Dressed comfy but fashionable, cute fluffy and asymmetrical hair cut. Adorably cute face. When the other client leaves, he comes to take me to the chair - and offers bottled water and chocolates. And offers to take off my shoes and get me slippers....Ah!

At this point, the next two hours are spent chatting with him in English while he washes my hair, massages my scalp, brushes my hair, colors my hair, rinses, etc....

Now, key to the is experience, is that my colorists supervisor comes over every 30 minutes to check on his work. Let me tell you, this man is walking sexy...a bit older - say mid or late 30s...so his life experience shows. And that is VERY hot! His longer than shoulder length hair, his casual walk, his graceful combing as he checks my hair...he usually chats for a few minutes each visit as well.

Now, if I go to a host club, I can enjoy the company of some cute boys - probably all between the ages of 19-24. And we can drink and flirt, for a price! My lack of Japanese ability means I won't get too much conversation in or out. So I am left with just looking. And probably sitting in cigarette smoke.

Not saying the host club experience is bad....it is actually quite interesting...but I get all the "host" attention, and in English, AND my hair colored by going to the salon.

I wonder if I should tell my colorist that he's my Number 1 ranked boy?

Journey to the Micro-flat

2010-03-30T22:43:00.000+09:00

We spent just 3 days in the hotel. Unfortunately, the beginning was not smooth...extreme lack of funds, the wait for a deposit of final US pay on my debit card, Tokyo heat, and having to change rental companies for an apartment.

Uhm, and our general laziness. As an American, I had been used to driving. Driving everywhere! My transportation went something like this:

Walk the 20 feet from door to car.
Get in car and drive.
At requested location, look for closest parking spot.
If not close parking spot, circle around the block again - someone is bound to be leaving.
Park car.
Walk the 20 feet to location entrance.

Tokyo was nothing like this.

Tokyo is this* Walk to the station...walk to the train platform...train...walk through the station...walk up the stairs...walk to the requested location...get lost while walking...walk back the other way...walk through another station...walk up more stairs...get lost in huge Shinjuku station...huddle next to wall and cry...walk through the station again...walk down street...finally reach destination...inwardly cry because you have to do this again to get BACK to starting point.

(Note from future self - walking is good for you! Burns calories. See all the thin, dainty Japanese women? Why do you think they are so thin? Because they walk. Now cry, because you do not weigh only 50 kg as they do.)

At last it was the day to move in to the new apartment, or flat as all my friends and the rental agency called it.

Hm, no money for taxi...too embarrassed to cart huge boxes on to train...what to do?

Well, we "borrowed" two luggage carts from the hotel and loaded them with our boxes and suitcases and proceeded to walk. We walked/pushed our items from the hotel to the new apartment. Now, I do not know the exact distance - but I can tell you it took about 2 hours one way.

And it started raining 30 minutes in to the journey. The boxes began wet and started to tear open due to their bursting innards. Luckily duct tape was wrapped around each.

Two hours after beginning, we reach the apartment.

It's on the 3rd floor.

There is no elevator.

The pushing/pulling/dragging of boxes up the stairs begins. I leave you to imagine the agony of getting large boxes up three flights of narrow stairwells.

Unlocking the door, we are home! I, ever positive, find the tiny size cozy. Less space to clean.

My daughter wants to know where the rest of the rooms are. And she is NOT amused that she can reach in to the kitchen and open the refrigerator - while she sits on the bed - in the living room.

Night One

2010-03-30T22:30:00.000+09:00

After taking the limousine bus to the hotel (Shinjuku Washington Hotel - "where the cutting edge of culture and economics symbolizing modern Japan blend with traditional Japanese culture" - note to self - paraphrase this slogan when anyone asks why I came to Japan.) we had the joy of carting our luggage to the front.

Having moved from overseas, this was 4 50-pound boxes, plus 4 carry on items. Knowing the checked-on luggage had to be at/below 50 pounds, we had put all the heavy stuff (DVDs, books) in our carry-on. Let's assume that each carry-on was about 35 pounds...

So, we have an old woman (me) and an 11 year old outside a hotel with a pile of boxes and suitcases. No curb service for luggage...so we grabbed a cart and lugged it all up to the room ourselves.

My daughter is already sobbing. "Why did you bring me here?! I hate this already."

Great. This will not be the time to tell her that due to a sudden drop in the exchange rate, my American dollars have been transformed in to barely enough yen to pay for the hotel, one months rent, and a couple of subway trips. No one needs to eat anyway...

Arrival in Japan

2010-03-30T01:12:00.000+09:00

I arrived in Japan in late July of 2009.

The previous five years were spent in beautiful Bellingham,WA - conveniently located just 40 miles south of Vancouver BC and 100 miles north of Seattle WA - in the Pacific Northwest. (Home of the Annual Rain Festival.)

Having pre-planned my move to Japan for some time - I had followed the weather. I started in Fall 2008. Bringing up the daily weather and temp charts - hm...seems similar, but gets cooler at night in Bellingham/Washington State. Winter 2008: good, good. Similar - but a little cooler, more snow in Bellingham/Washington state. Spring 2009: wow! Almost same weather and temp daily!

Summer 2009: arrival. Nothing like a 10+ hour flight in a crowded economy section. WITH broken air-conditioning. Hot, sweaty people. Cramped in tiny seats for hours. Hours passing through immigration, collecting baggage. Daughter is crabby. And hungry.

BUT we are in Tokyo! All else is immaterial...out we go to the Airport Limousine Bus. Sliding doors glide open and (note - so many sliding doors in Tokyo; rarely do I need to touch a door. Genius!) and...what is this weather? This is NOT like the PNW! It is hot, so hot. And humid! I am drenched just stepping out.

My daughter growls. "Mom. I swear. If it is this hot all the time, I am running away."
(note - this quote is correct. In her zeal to impress upon me her utter disgust, she did not use contractions.)

Well, the adventure begins...

Style? What style?

2010-03-30T00:50:00.000+09:00

Okay, I'm reading blogs of all sorts...some business oriented, some self-improvement, some fun, some travel, some fashion...

I doubt I can come up with any thing as witty or fun or clever. For several reasons...

I'm not in my 20s, nor am I regularly drunk. This will cut down the possibilities of me waxing poetically about drunken nights in Kabukicho or midday debauchery in Shin-Okubo. My days of public partying are greatly diminished...(this does NOT mean private partying is out...anyone up for raucous versions of "Swing Low, Sweet Chariot?")

I can dress a man, but I can hardly dress myself. This said, posts on women's fashion will most likely be pathetic. (I probably need my own "Fab 5" to attend my rescue.) That said, I can most certainly point a man towards sartorial excellence, be it business style or rock...

I am just not friendly! Oh sure, if you know me - I'm loads of fun. But I'm a bit introverted - so it's hard to go up to strangers and ferret out festive stories.

I am a parent. My daughter has been my main job and "hobby" for the past 8 years. I may have forgotten how to interact with adults.

I will continue to come up with additional reasons why my blog won't be too clever, or too sweet, or too "cool."

What's up with the blog's name?

2010-03-26T21:40:00.000+09:00

I considered many names for this blog - some fairly unoriginal in sound.

I considered "Apryl in Tokyo." Sort of like the answer to "when do I visit Europe?" "Oh, you should see Paris in April." In this case it is Tokyo. And my name is Apryl.

Then, well...I thought it would sound too much like the title of a blog I regularly read called "Julie in Japan." Sure, she is Julie. And she is in Japan. But it seemed "Apryl in Paris" would be like those AV films picking a similar sounding name to coordinate their "sequels."

('Cause you know that every AV leaves loose-ends to the story line - and those really need tied up! Now that I think about it...self...tied up...no, no - completely different blog experience!)

Then I considered that Tokyo is a wonderful place, at least in my eyes. And it is strange...odd things down the small side streets, tasty cakes in tiny boxes, crooked architecture, and crazily speeding trains. That, and my favorite book is Lewis Carroll's curious tale.

It seemed only fitting that my first voyage away from North America would be a rabbit hole type of trip to a place unlike my own original home. And since, in Tokyo, I often feel like I am too small or too big, too tall or too small, too loud or too quiet; I went with the name you see.

As of today's date, I have been in Tokyo for eight months. I have new things to write - but plenty of past events to put into the ether - so my first posts may be mostly past events, with snippets of freshness. Eventually I will catch up...