So, to tie up the varied loose ends of the conversation with the friend-boy…
We meet and went to an izakaya for beer and food.
He apologized for me getting my feelings hurt.
I said that even if him saying “fat, American girl” is some sort of reality, why wouldn’t he just keep his description as “oh, yeah, she’s nice.”
He said he was just giving a short answer to the girl.
I sulked more.
I said the nuance of fat and overweight is very different. Overweight is fact, fat is insult.
He said fat and overweight mean the same.
Then yelled at him in the izakaya; saying he just said that because he wouldn’t want her to think he has any other female of importance, since he spends all his time dreaming of the day she will f**k him.
I almost start crying, but stop in time to avoid meltdown.
Silence from his side of the table, coupled with a shocked look.
Summary of his response: doesn’t think of her as girlfriend, doesn’t have desire to talk to and share important thoughts with her like would with a girlfriend. Does have thoughts and desires to share thoughts with me. Does think we could “be something, make something.” Said just because he did not discuss me with her, he does talk about me with a good friend of his and his mother. Did bring up side point that I had told him before I would lose weight, but have barely done so.
I accepted his apology, views, and point on the weight.
He said this situation was actually good so that it forced us to have a more in-depth conversation.Acceptable.Situation green.
follow-up note: He then went out of town for a few days. Upon returning, we were talking about a music promotion project. He was saying he doesn't send mp3s of his music, prefers just streaming availability, but as the project is mine and "we're dating" he agreed to release mp3s.