Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Why are some men so clueless?

This post has nothing / little to do with Japan specifically...just a comment on men and how...uhm...how to say this politely...cluelessly rude they are?!

We all know that men (straight) men like to meet women. They watch them, they think about them, they fantasize about them, they approach them...

We also know that men, just like women, find a variety of things attractive. Some men like blonds. Some men like brunettes. Some like large breasts. Some like an athletic type body.

When a man tries the ol' pick-up lines, of which there are many - the lines often include some deviation of the girl being pretty, angelic, or the guy just tells her she is hot!

Now, rarely will you hear this:

"Hi, I wanted to get to know you because your height / weight proportionate body is very nice."
" Hey, can I buy you a drink - cause your nicely styled blond hair really turns me on. "

Instead the guy says:
"Hi, I wanted to get to know you because you seem nice and are pretty."
"Hey, can I buy you a drink - you look great tonight."

But, why do the men that find larger women appealing, think these lines work:

"Mmmm, baby. That big ol' thick body turns me on!"
" You know, I really dig fat girls."

Are these men serious? Are they clueless? Are they rude on purpose because they have some sort of big girl / humiliation fetish?

Do they think a larger girl does not want to hear "you are pretty" without the qualifier of "you are a big fat pretty girl."

Look men! If you like a girl - and some part of her appeals to your secret "turn on factor" such as: the blonde hair, the full hips, the tiny breasts, the big nose, the missing limb, whatever the fuck turns you on - the "I think you are pretty / I find you attractive" line works A LOT better without the additional qualifiers!

ps: the next time some one gives me some stupid backhanded compliment / pick up line - I might respond with "Wow! Really, cause I love a man with a short dick! I can't get enough tiny penis! And your super tiny rod is doing it for me right now!"

Saturday, August 28, 2010

An Excuse For False Eyelashes!

In about two weeks, I am going to an acquaintances pre-wedding party. Groovy couple that they are, rather than the traditional bachelor/bachelorhood party of bridal shower, they are hosting a party for friends at Kaguwa Roppongi!

Kaguwa Roppongi is apparently styled after the Edo era "red light" entertainment district - drag shows, acrobatics, great food. I'm always a fan of the drag show - men, who as women, look better in a dress than I do...the general erotic confusion of "hot" guy dressed as woman...and the fantastic makeup and costumes. Really - I want a drag stylist of my own!

So, once again, I must must aside my dislike of the Roppongi area...but for an excuse for myself to wear FAB-ulous false eyelashes - I am sooooo there!

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

On a Lighter Note...

I did go see this free show on July 30th. I fought my mid-level aversion to Roppongi and went.

Show was good, music pretty decent, audience energetic.

Some people have posted camcorder recordings of the show on dailymotion and youtube. Check it out, check it outers!

But you don't like sex...

The previous discussion with Baby Daddy brings up a lovely point he would bring up...because apparently his being unfaithful or rude to me was my fault...because I don't like sex!

Hm....I just don't like it with you!

When you come home and tell me all about how some other woman was coming on to you and how you thought about going with her - I don't want to have sex with you.

When you come home and complain that I did not cook the food you wanted or how you wanted it - I don't want to have sex with you.

When you take private information I told you about my past / childhood / or some random situation, and throw it at me like an insult - I don't want to have sex with you.

When you tell me (if I'm wearing make-up and a cute outfit) that I look like a whore - I don't want to have sex with you.

When you tell me (when I'm not wearing make-up and am wearing jogging pants because I've been scrubbing the freakin toilet and tub YOU use) that I look like an old woman - I don't want to have sex with you.

When you get home from work at 4am, and your idea of inspiring intimacy is not darkened touches and rubbing...but a nudge and the words "get up, I need to use that..." with a point of your finger - I don't want to have sex with you.

When we do have sex, and I sigh / moan or otherwise attempt to join in the fun, you ask why I am acting like a porn slut - I don't want to have sex with you.

When you think you are proving your prowess by rutting away for 20 minutes when I am not enjoying it - I don't want to have sex with you.

And when, after we separate, you threaten me that if I do not continue to have sex with you, you will file for sole custody of our daughter, take her to Mexico, and I will never see her again - I sure as HELL do not want to have sex with you.

I hate him...

I am so very NOT happy right now.

Last night, I was "required" to speak with the Dark Overlord AKA Baby Daddy. Any interaction with him leaves me a mix of disgusted, angry, and besieged. He is a person who can not just hold a civil conversation with me - but feels he must lecture me, scold me, or otherwise insert his opinions regarding my person, into the mix.

Of course, it began with his complaining that I have not called often enough - my (our) daughter is visiting me currently, and he wanted regular calls.

I don't call regularly because 1) the time difference 2) for the past one week (the one week he received no calls) there has been some sort of glitch with my LD calling code and I was not inspired to delve in to the problem 3) he will give me the same freakin grief no matter how often I call.

Then he tells me how he will "get revenge on Luna" for not calling, when she returns - by leaving her home alone one week-end afternoon while he and the family go to a party. Little does he know she hates those family/friend gatherings. In his community, every gathering is the same: loud salsa/cumbia/nortena music, lots of beer and orange soda, fathers getting drunk, and the bilingual tweens of Spanish speaking only parents spouting off.

It pisses me off that he phrases it as "get revenge on..."

Then he tells me I need to contact Luna's school. School started august 23rd, but Luna will return to school on August 30th. Rather than giving them the simple, no-frills explanation of "Luna is visiting her mother out of town and will start school late," he felt he needed to make up some story of "family beeznis." (Spelling meant to capture his accented English.)

Since he made up this story of family business, they want verification. From ME!

Then he goes on to tell me what a super parent he is because the kids go to school, come home to clean and do homework - and he does not need to do anything at home, because he has the kids trained. And they can't play outside or go to a friends because 1) they have chores to do 2) they don't need to do stupid stuff.

He makes some crap comment "so, Luna is just locked up in your apartment while you work isn't she." That ass....she is locked up in his house when not in school in Texas. No extra curriculars - "they don't need that," no fun extra classes cause hes too tired after work to take them.

Lead in to his telling me that he won't share cost of plane tickets for Luna to visit since I have a "good deal" of not paying child support. Hm....he has had her for 4.5 whole months. And no, I did not pay him child support. How about the 7 years, after we separated, that she was with me full-time and he paid no or little or less than required child support? How about him not calling, not visiting, not keeping his promises to her?

So, he is too tired to take her to a singling lesson - but when she lived with me, I was the sole parent, worked full-time, picked up side jobs to fund her activities, and dealt with picking up the sorrows of his broken words.

I took unmentionable jobs....jobs not fit for "gentle" consumption - to keep us/her in an apartment, with food and clothes, when he could not be bothered to pay his child support.

Esh, then he goes on his tangent about how I'm so "lucky and have the good deal" that she is staying with him now because I can do all my "nasty things" without her. and I can be "the looser" I am without her.

My nasty things? Bwa ha ha! He has said this crap since before we divorced. When we were married, he loved to throw it in my face that when I was younger, I *gasp* tried a variety of illegal substances! And he will not let it die...apparently I'm chomping at the bit to dive in to a mountain of cocaine!

Oh, and right at the tail end of us being married, I was flirting with / exchanging sexy letters with a male friend. Perhaps not my finest move.

My daughters father however, had not been "faithful" to me for any time frame greater than...oh...10 days. And he would always come home and tell me how he had this side girl or how some woman wanted him.

Then after said conversation, I get to hear Luna cry and tell me she hates living with him. He is too strict, too mean, never takes them places or lets them do things - she says. BUT she doesn't want to live in Tokyo. I'm supposed to leave my job and friends here, move back to the US, and then she will live with me.

His interesting end to hos conversation - he wants me to buy 6 shirts and send them back with Luna. He and his friends want "something Japan." He also wants the shirts to be silk and a polo style.

Do you want them "Japan" or do you want them freakin polo shirt style?

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

The Black Van is So Slimming Too!

Yesterday I watched a short procession of vehicles zip by while I was in Shinjuku. The tiny parade of three vehicles was made of two black vans, one khaki van – all with large Japanese flags displayed, large kanji characters on the side, and blasting out some sort of patriotic music. I assume it is patriotic, but it is “scary” patriotic music – it sounds like the Wagner pieces Hitler chose for his themed assemblies.

Of course, it is only fitting the music be a bit Hitler-esque. Apparently these are the vans of the extreme right-wing groups found in Japan. In truth, passing these fans makes me feel like the one black person shopping in town when the KKK holds a rally.

Prior to moving to Japan, I had read a tiny blurb about these vans – it pretty much said something like “this right-wing group hates foreigners.” If that is not enough to conjure images of myself being snatched off the streets by masked, angry, Nihon-go, and sold in to the white slave trade, I do not know what is. But it is a minimal threat – I have only seen these vans twice in the one year I have been in Japan.

Later that day, I sat down with a Japanese friend and asked, “So, today I saw these black vans with big flags…” She immediately hung her head. Sighing, she said, “Ah, I know exactly who you mean.” She told me that yes; they are the extreme right wing. But the “extreme right-wing” is not really one group – it is many groups. Yes, some of them dislike foreigners and would prefer all non-Japanese be deported. But other groups actually have foreign members, usually Zainichii Korean; they are just VERY pro-Emperor and would like Japan to go back to having Emperor rule, more nationalistic pride, and for Japan to take back any apologies they might or might not have given for WW II actions. Other right-wing groups are just very anti-Bush style US government, and feel Japan plays too much the part of US puppet government. They want Japan to become more independent and restart maintaining a strong military.Other groups seem to be places where Yakuza can act tough.

Not knowing Japanese, when I see a festooned black van, I have no idea which ideology of the “right-wing” those particular members hold. My friend just said, “I suggest you just stay back from them. You don’t want to ask them for directions.”