Thursday, April 29, 2010

Do Hosts Make Good Boyfriends?

I think many of us can agree that Hosts are mighty mighty pretty! They are fashionable, amusing, and probably spend more time on their hair than any self-respecting girl does! And they work in a business of producing either pretend romance, or at least flattering amusement.

But do they make for good real boyfriends? I personally know - or know of - 7 couples which are made up of Western Woman/Asian Host Male.

My first point of interest is that one does not see many Western woman/Asian male couples. Probably due to a variety of reasons: 1. Asian men are more shy and reticent to use their poor English skills in approaching a foreign woman, 2. Western women often are not attracted to Asian guys, 3. Even if attracted, woman often do not come to Asia with the idea of it being a long term situation - they are here for a year or so for the experience, 4. Perhaps even if man is willing to approach woman, possible societal stigma of dating/marrying non-Asian?

So, why, in a pairing rather unusual, is the male often a Host? My idea is perhaps: 1. Hosts tend to be more adventurous and outgoing than a regular salary-man, so they are willing to approach Western woman, 2. Their lifestyle is also non-conformist so social ideas of marrying only Asian are not so important to them, 3. And their ever so fashionable selves make them more attractive to us Western women.

(note: this is just my pondering...feel free to suggest other reasons...)

So, this gets to the question of, do Hosts make good boyfriends? Of the 7 couples I previously mentioned, 4 are happy and together. 2 have broken up. 1 is shaky.

Now, the 2 broken up couples. These couples met at/in the respective Host club employment spot of the man. Both girls then continued to go to same Host club, and requested the "future" boyfriend, and spent their money on him/with him on-site. At some point, they started actually dating outside the club, and one couple decided to live together.

Why the break-ups? Hm...well, both girls told me that the guys tended to be untrustworthy and unfaithful. Always needing money. Sleeping with other girls. Claiming they just HAD to sleep with other women to keep their ranking up at the club!

As for the "shaky" couple...similar situation. He works a lot, sleeps with clients. She is trying to see if it is worth salvaging.

As for the 4 couples who are happy and together. Only 1 met at/in the club. The others happened to meet out and about in Tokyo. Coffee shop, shopping, or introduced by mutual friends. The one couple who met in the club - while she did return to the club for a night of fun, she did not request him or spend money on him.

These woman find their Host boyfriends to be great - charming, oh so fashionable, fun, and quite trustworthy!


  1. I don't know, I don't find hosts that attractive. They are too over the top for me. I would like to go to host club for the fun of it but I think if you'd met a guy that way and spent a ton of money, you'd always have doubts in the back of your mind over their motives.

    I guess it depends too - if you are in Japan teaching English, I doubt the salary would be high enough to tempt a host for financial reasons :)

  2. wow. that's a lot of male host/white women couples. any more details about the happy couples? any gay hosts?

  3. It is isn't it? Especially since the Asian male/white woman pairing is so rare. I WILL do some further investigation for you on the gay host/white boy pairing!

  4. K - I do think they look over the top in most pictures. But in person, strolling down the street - they often look very very good!

  5. I agree with both of you. Hosts are vain & offer little in terms of stability, honesty, or conventional masculinity. On the other, it's hard not to stare at their flamboyance. Yes, I am curious ^^

  6. Sometimes I think that any job with a "customer service" element puts us in a Host/Hostess type position. Make the customer happy, smile, say yes!

    I think some Hosts are vain, etc - and somehow think that being a Host is somewhat akin to being a sought after model or celebrity.

    But many, I hope, are just like anyone else. They do their job, pay their bills, and have some hope of an intimate relationship with love and respect.

  7. okay, I asked around about Gay Hosts - seems the Gay Host clubs do sell more than just the flirt/romance fantasy of the straight Host/Hostess venue. Apparently at Gay Host clubs, you can "enjoy" your chosen one at home, hotel, or a private onsite room....that being said, I do wonder if actual "dating" occurs between Host and client? I think someone selling "sex" vs "romance/fantasy" may have a different mindset towards relationships...

    Of note - I see from the pics on Gay Host clubs - the guts look more "manly" than straight Hosts...they have facial hair, some muscles...

    I will continue to ask about this though.

  8. thanks, apryl!

  9. I, too, am surprised at the numbers! I haven't ever come across someone who has dated a host before. I would be skeptical of it if the couple met at a host club but anywhere outside I think there is the reasonable expectation of a relationship, whether it's just sex or an emotional investment too. I think it could be hard getting over the job aspect of it though, if you actually wanted the relationship to continue. Seeing how hard some of these guys work, I think it would be difficult to not get completely wrapped up in the job. Host boys are hot but most are too vain-looking and non-masculine for me to want anything from them but a cold drink and a light.